"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Joke: To Heaven and Back
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late
A businessman works late to be with his young secretary, but eventually makes his way home. He begins to think up his excuses...
Joke: A Woman's Clever Answer
This woman just thought of the perfect answer to this cop's accusation.
Hilarious: Can I Have a Penny For Your Thoughts, Lad?
A Scottish lad and lass are sitting on a heathery hillside in the Highlands when they begin to converse...
Cheeky Joke: The Doctor and the Stutterer
Enjoy this funny joke about a guy who wanted his stutter removed...
Why Has It Gone Hard? (Hilarious Joke)
Two boys are playing by a stream when they see a naked woman. One of the boys quickly runs off.
Hilarious! Quick, Your Majesty, Avoid Mr. Bean!
It's hard to imagine why the Queen would ever want to meet Mr. Bean. I mean, I know he's funny, but...she's the Queen! This will not end well!
These Pics Perfectly Show the Funny Side of Life in the UK
These weirdly hilarious pictures perfectly show the funny side of life in the UK.
This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
This has to be the funniest hotline message ever recorded.
14 Crazy Things That Could Only Happen in One Country...
14 photos of things that you could only find in Russia. These will bring a smile to your face.
The 30 Craziest State Laws Are Just Too Funny For Words!
Check out 30 of the craziest laws that are still in effect in the US today!
These Photos Prove Dogs Are The FUNNIEST Pets In Existence
Whether they're caught trying to steal a snack or desperately resisting bath time, dogs never fail to put a smile on our faces. Check out these funny dog moments!
How the Heck Did They End Up Writing THAT?
Here's a fresh dose of hilarious translation fails from different countries and languages!
With These Witty Lines Anyome Can be Star of the Party
some funny sayings with a something for everyone.
Mr. Bean Never Expected a Round of Golf Like That...
Mr Bean decides to treat himself to a round of crazy golf. He starts off with a fantastic hole in one, but things start to take a turn for the worse…
These Hilarious Cartoons are All About Senior Life
A huge collection of funny senior cartoons that reveal all about how life changes us as we grow older. Get ready to laugh your heart out!
15 Funny Pictures of Pets Engaged in Shenanigans
These hilarious entries from the Comedy Pet Photography Awards will have you rolling in laughter.
Comedy Gold: Do Not Mess With Buster Keaton!
Enjoy this rib-tickling sketch by the king of comedy, Buster Keaton.
Hilarious: 15 Misspelled Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
We collected 15 hysterical signs with spelling mistakes here, so brace yourselves - because it’s about to get funny!
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown's Having a VERY Weird Day...
Mrs. Brown will give you a big grin with another hilarious scene.
20 Savage "Burns" That Will Live on Forever...
Can you think of anything better in this world than a fantastic inspired insult? Here are 20 of our favorite crushing zingers.
You're Busted! Hilarious 'Crime' Gags
This compilation is so funny it should be illegal! ).
Hilarious: How to Insult 7 Different Nations!
This kind woman is willing to help her boss with a difficult meeting, but her help isn't all it's cracked up to be...
Funny: Young People Don't Have Damn a Clue About Aging!
This hilarious stand-up bit really hits home on the subject of aging, and how young people really don't get it...
Cats Vs Dogs: Who's in Charge? Adorable and Hilarious!
When it comes to cats vs dogs, who's the boss? Hilarious!
20 Frighteningly Funny Signs to Watch Out For...
Some signs are so unintentionally funny that you can’t help but laugh out loud. Here’s a look at some of them.
These Signs Are Way Too Funny!
You know what time it is? It’s time for some hilariously funny sign!
These Terrific Signs Make Everyone Burst Out Laughing!
In this article, we feature 15 terrific signs that will make just about anyone laugh their heart out.
Librarians Really Do Have a Unique Sense of Humor!
When librarians decide to make us all laugh, they tend to do it in style!
Hilarious: The Real Dogs Behind the "Beware Dog" Signs
Here are 12 hilarious “Beware of the Dog” signs and the cuties behind those signs.
20 Hysterical Photos Taken in the Perfect Time and Place!
All 20 of the photos we’re about to show were taken just in time to create the most hilarious effect imaginable!
Only Mr. Bean Can Make a Picnic Hilarious
Mr. Bean decides to have a picnic. However, he soon realizes that there are some insects who will do their utmost to prevent him from enjoying himself...
Read These Funny Night Quotes for Chuckles Before Bedtime
Read these funny night quotes for chuckles before bedtime.
It’s Hard to Believe These Hilarious US Laws Still Exist!
Did you know California prohibits riding bikes in swimming pools? Discover more such bizarre US laws in this article.
These Witty Signboards Will Make Certainly You Chuckle
Signboards that we see everyday are mostly forgettable. However, here is a collection of the wittiest signboards with some great messages.
If You've Got a Sense of Humor, You'll Love These Liners!
Which of these short jokes will crack you up?
WATCH: 10 Funny Xmas Editions of 'Simon's Cat' All in One!
These hilarious cartoons from Simon's cat serve to remind us not to forget something really important: It's Christmas for our cats too!
Hilarious: These Animals Decided to be Jerks Today
Animals are lovely, but even they have the scoundrels that annoy the rest!
Hilarious: When a Ventriloquist Gets Hypnotized...
Watch this ventriloquist as she does a creative and funny routine I've never seen another ventriloquist do anything like this before!
You're Never Too Old To Have Fun! These Seniors Prove It
There may be some seniors who'd rather take life slowly. But others, do not want to waste a second having fun.
Small Town America Has Some RIDICULOUS Laws
It’s hard to believe these dumb laws still exist!
HILARIOUS: The Office Can Be a Funny Place!
Four short and funny jokes about office and business situations!
Hilarious! The Joys of Motherhood - As Animals See Them
Motherhood may sound like a good idea, but it really takes it out of you, as these dog and cat mothers can hilariously testify.
Lost in Translation: 15 Hilarious Language Fails
When translations from foreign languages into English go wrong, apart from being almost incomprehensible, the results are often outrageously hilarious!
17 Hilarious Animal Memes That Will Have You Guffawing
Start your day with these ridiculously hilarious animal memes.