Hannu wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. So he gets there a day early to make all the arrangements. That night, he e-mails her but misspells the address and it goes to the house of an recent widow.
The next day, the widow's son finds his mother passed out in front of her computer. On the screen is this e-mail: ''My darling wife, I've just gotten here and everything's set for your arrival tomorrow. I hope your trip here will be as pleasant as mine.
P.S. It's really hot down here!''
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.''
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he insists.
''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.'' Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?''
The wife snaps, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''
Nearing the end, Ed is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, ''I must tell you my greatest secret.''
His family urges him to go on.
''Before I got married, I had it all,'' explains Ed. ''Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, ‘Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no-one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.'
So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?''
''What?'' Whisper the fascinated members of his family.
''I'm not even thirsty!''