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Calling All Lexophiles, It's Time for Clever Word Play!

I admint, I'm a bit of a "Lexophile", which is a word used to describe people who simply love words and love playing with them to make new and funny meanings.  A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in an undisclosed location: This year's winning submission is posted at the very  end...
- When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve  months.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles  U - C - L - A.
- The batteries were given out free of  charge.
- A dentist and a manicurist married, They fought tooth and nail.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen  a mall.
- Police were called to a day care Center where a  3-year-old was
  resisting a rest.

- Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left  side was cut off?
  He's all right now.

- A bicycle can't stand alone;  it is two tired.

- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is  now fully recovered.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done- That's the point of it.
- Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
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Related Topics: funny, lexophile, word play
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