A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action.
The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?"
The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff.
Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!" The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited.
After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it.
A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving.
The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with the rope tied tightly around it behind. The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!"
The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Have You Heard This Joke? A Blond Trilogy!
These hilarious and classic blond jokes will make your day.
Joke: A Woman's Clever Answer
This woman just thought of the perfect answer to this cop's accusation.
Joke: Wedding Decisions
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
3 Jokes About Blond Men That'll Make You Laugh out Loud
Blond jokes are just as funny when they are applied to men!
Joke: What To Wear When The IRS Calls You In...
A man has been called in to the IRS to testify, but he's unsure of what to wear for the outcome to be most favorable for him. Read on to find out what happens..
Hilarious: Some Guys REALLY Think Outside the Box...
Here are some of my favorite examples of male creativity at work.
These Mistranslations are Too Funny Not to Share
Enjoy this hilarious collection of ridiculousy bad translation fails.
Well, You Can't Say These People Aren't Creative...
These 17 examples of nonstandard thinking intrigued us and made us laugh.
These Witty Rejoinders Just Gave Me a Sardonic Smile
These zingers come from the mischievous mouths of history's most loved celebrities. Prepare to laugh.
Over 100 Hilarious Memes!
Enjoy many categories and over 100 funny and hilarious memes of all kinds.
It’s Impossible NOT to Laugh at These 15 Hilarious Signs
It’s impossible NOT to laugh at these sidesplitting signs!
Hilarious: The Marriage Dictionary!
Have you been through the marriage dictionary yet? I think you'll find that the definitions it contains are much different to the ones in a regular dictionary.
We All Make These Mistakes as Parents... Hilarious!
When situations like this happen, we cannot help but giggle. Take a look at these hilarious parenting fails.
These Funny Signs May Leave Your Sides Hurting
Sometimes the most well-intentioned signs turn out to be accidentally hilarious.
Hilarious: Mr. Bean is Looking for Something...
Leave it to Mr. Bean to make it a hilarious search!
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
These Photos Could Only Have Been Taken In China...
China is a unique country full of unique characters, and this picture series proves it!
Laugh Until You Howl: The WILDEST Animal Pranks
Have a roaring time with these howlarious wild animal pranks by Just for Laughs.
Some Languages Are Humorous, But English Is Hilarious!
If you're a sucker for a good, honest, rib-tickling pun, we've got more than 20 of them here for you to giggle away at!
Hilarious Stand Up: Why Teens Are God's Revenge
A hilarious stand up by comedian veteran Jeff Allen, all about teens and why they are God's revenge.
This Stand-Up Routine is as Funny as They Come!
This has got to be one of the funniest stand up routines of all time by Kevin Bridges. He may have a confusing accent, but he's a straight shooter and no doubt about it - a very funny man.
Funny: When 8 Priests Come Face-to-Face with Lingerie
This clip from a classic Irish comedy features 8 desperate priests embarrassingly trapped in the lingerie department. This will bring tears to your eyes.
Couples Will Totally Relate to These Funny Cartoons!
Being coupled up can be a wonderful thing, but there's no denying that relationships have their ups and downs. Here are 12 funny cartoons about couples.
Kidding in the Rain: A Collection of Rainy-Day Pranks!
A hilarious collection of pranks by just for laughs focusing on rainy days.
HILARIOUS: 15 Times People Failed the Only Job They Had
The most hilarious examples of hilarious work fails.
Marriage Can Be Such a Funny Kind of Affair...
A few fascinating thoughts and quotes about the institute of marriage...
This is What Happens When You Try and Fix it Yourself!
Have you ever tried fixing something yourself and failed miserably? Then you're going to love these photos...
When Cats Attack, Absolutely Nothing is Safe!
These Photos are filled with cats going into attack mode and assaulting everything from their devoted owners to innocent cardboard boxes, blankets, and shoes.
Hilarious! This Is How Old Men Strip a Kitchen
The Swedes are known for some great cooking. But it seems it's not the men who deserve the praise. This is what they really get up to in the kitchen!
Over 100 Dad Jokes to Make You the Corniest!
Over 100 cringy dad jokes in several categories, including cheesy dad jokes, corny dad jokes, dumb dad jokes, dad jokes for adults, dirty dad jokes and more.
Funny: Young People Don't Have Damn a Clue About Aging!
This hilarious stand-up bit really hits home on the subject of aging, and how young people really don't get it...
Funny Photos: You Had One Job!
These ridiculously funny work fail pictures will have you laughing all day.
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
HILARIOUS: The Office Can Be a Funny Place!
Four short and funny jokes about office and business situations!
When Birds Misbehave, the Results Are Utterly Hilarious!
If you think that only dogs and cats are capable of being total jerks, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
The People Behind These Funny Fails Are Beyond Reproach!
Some people simply should not be entrusted with construction or any kind of DIY work. The 15 photos you're about to see will show you exactly why!
These Lines are Bad Manners, But They're Funny!
We all wish we had the tenacity to be able to reply to someone being cheeky to us with the wittiest of comebacks. Here are 20 awesome rejoinders.
I Dare You Not to Laugh at These Silly Signs
Who on earth put these pointless signs all over our streets?!
The Most Embarrassing Things to Happen on Camera...
A funny compilation of people who are having their day ruined by unexpected events.
Funny Prank: The Disappearing Roadblock...
It is quite stressful having a police officer angry at you, but these unlucky drivers had a good reason to block his way... didn't they?
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown and Her Naughty Situation (Rude)
We come back to our favorite foul mouthed lady in this hilarious sketch.This will definitely get you laughing!
Classic Comedy: The Case of the Troublesome Sandwich
Among all the hundreds of hilarious Mr. Bean sketches, this is one of my all time favorites
Have You Ever Read a Sign Or Notice and Thought... WHAT!?
Sometimes you see a sign or notice and you just have to do a double take. These 18 utterly hilarious spelling fails will have you laughing all day long!
The Classic Comedy of Rowan Atkinson: A Full Performance!
The comedy of Rowan Atkinson like you've never seen him before - a full performance!