Ready to laugh? Enjoy this witty and funny collection of short jokes and one liners that'll sure to make your day much funnier and MUCH better - because a day with a laugh is a day not wasted!
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband's away!
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Great. I'll get you some nails and wood."
While I was working as an assistant in a large corporation, my boss used to take half of the job applicants CVs and throw them in the garbage. When I asked him why he just said: "I don't want to work with unlucky people."
Customer: "Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
It is well known... Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all. A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothin' special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...
HUSBAND: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
WIFE: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She replied, "No peer pressure."
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
"I'll miss you."
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is ANYTHING ok?" Husband: "There's something preying on my mind." Wife: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
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Scroll below for more funny jokes!
This Joke Starts With a Wife With Incredible Luck
This joke starts with a wife getting some brand new merchandise...
15 Hilarious Translation Fails from Different Languages
These translation fails from different languages will have you rolling on the floor with laughter.
Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
Vandalism is WRONG. Unless it makes you laugh out loud. Then it’s okay.
The Lighter Side of Love: 18 Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
Love is a serious matter, but it’s good to have some humor about it sometimes.
Just For Laughs: Creating the World’s Most Awkward Photo
Sometimes, posing for a simple photo shoot can turn out to be painfully awkward. Watch this hilarious prank video to find out more...
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
These “Police Officers” Have a Great Sense of Humor
Police officers can have a great sense of humor too, as you will find out in this hilarious compilation.
Hilarious Beach Photos That Make You Roar With Laughter!
The photos in this collection prove that one can stumble upon some really funny characters and things on the beach
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
HILARIOUS: These Pets are Real Drama Queens!
Just like humans, some pets throw tantrums when they want attention. Just look at these 12 hilarious four-legged drama queens.
These Seniors Live Life According to Their Own Rules...
These funny photos prove that as you get older, you stop caring about what other people think of you.
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.
Even At a Wedding, Sometimes Things Just Go All Wrong!
Hilarious: Anything Can Go Wrong at a Wedding...
These Vintage Family Christmas Cards Are So Bizarre!
Please don’t laugh at these weird family Christmas cards from the 1950s and 1960s.
This Man Pushed a Button. He Had No Idea What It Will Do...
This man saw a button at the town square, he didn't realize what would happen when he pushed it.
Safety Is the Last Thing on Their Minds – Funny Pics
Looking for some humor? Check out some hilarious pictures of safety fails.
George Carlin Had a Funny Way of Telling the Truth!
Mr George Carlin's legacy will be fondly remembered for many years. There are not many people who can entertain, amuse, and delight by asking a simple question.
Hilarious Fortune Cookie Messages to Make You Laugh
Fortune cookies can be quite sassy sometimes!
20 Not-So-Scary Horror-Themed Comics That Had Us Chuckling
Enjoy these hilarious one-frame comics by Mark Parisi that depict horror movies in parallel universes.
Who Said God Isn't Funny? These Church Signs are Hilarious!
Although churches are houses of worship, that doesn't mean to say that they can't have a sense of humor! These amazing signs are evidence of that.
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean Takes the Train
Another great comedy jewel from Rowan Atkinson, this is uproariously funny scene.
Simon's Cat: A Day in the Life of a Cat Owner
Being a cat owner really changes you as a person, only cat people understand this. But everyone will get the humor in this new extended Simon's Cat episode!
These Animal Pick Up Lines Are a Hoot!
When it comes to pick up lines, the animal world provides some of the funniest! This collection of 70 animal pick up lines is gonna make you roar with laughter.
Hilarious Sketch: The Great Piano Concerto
This hilarious sketch by a classic comedy duo puts you in the middle of the worst execution of a concert imaginable.
These Wine Jokes Are All in Good Taste...
I never knew there were so many funny things to say about wine...
Some Animals are True Comedians...
Who knew wildlife could be this funny? Here are 13 of this year's funny wild animal award nominees.
Working With a Feline - A Cat-astrophy...
Cats are cute, but try working with one of them around...
20 Terrible Translations That'll Make You Laugh!
Check out these 20 outrageously terrible translations that will make you laugh your head off!
Hilarious: 15 Misspelled Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
We collected 15 hysterical signs with spelling mistakes here, so brace yourselves - because it’s about to get funny!
These 24 Funny Wild Animals Know When to Say Cheese!
Wild animals are magnificent, sure. But they are also breathing souls with a real thirst for fun, play and humor. This ace contest celebrates their funny side.
Hilarious: Mr. Bean and the Eating Competition
Mr. Bean's eating competition against a fellow guest is going swimmingly until he eats a batch of spoiled oysters...
22 Hilarious Reasons That'll Make You Love Cats More!
These hilarious photos of cats show them breaking the laws of physics.
Hilarious: The Funniest Good Morning Quotes in History
Mornings aren’t for everyone. Here are some funny good morning quotes you will relate to.
Well, You Won't See THESE Every Day!
In this captivating collection of images, we delve into the extraordinary and the amusing.
Translations Gone Wrong – 15 Hilarious Examples
These funny signs are proof that bad translations can have hilarious results.
Laugh Out Loud with Rob Spence's Crazy Balloon Act
Watch in awe as Rob Spence's balloon mime act takes center stage, bringing non-stop laughter.
Funnies: The Differences Between Men and Women
These images will show you clearly why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Take a look at these amusing images for a good laugh.
These House Design Decisions Are Criminally Bad!
It’s hard to believe these weird houses actually exist!
When Two Old Ladies Sit Down and Make Us Laugh!
Hilarious and classic sketch from the Mrs. Brown classic show.
So Funny: Have You Ever Seen Christmas Trees Like THESE?
These are the most unusual Xmas trees you have ever seen!
These Hilarious Cartoons are All About Senior Life
A huge collection of funny senior cartoons that reveal all about how life changes us as we grow older. Get ready to laugh your heart out!
These Senior Cartoons Will Make Anyone Laugh Out Loud
A collection of 20 hilarious comic strips and funny cartoons about aging.