Ready to laugh? Enjoy this witty and funny collection of short jokes and one liners that'll sure to make your day much funnier and MUCH better - because a day with a laugh is a day not wasted!
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband's away!
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Great. I'll get you some nails and wood."
While I was working as an assistant in a large corporation, my boss used to take half of the job applicants CVs and throw them in the garbage. When I asked him why he just said: "I don't want to work with unlucky people."
Customer: "Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
It is well known... Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all. A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothin' special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...
HUSBAND: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
WIFE: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She replied, "No peer pressure."
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
"I'll miss you."
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is ANYTHING ok?" Husband: "There's something preying on my mind." Wife: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
FUNNY! 10 Superb Puns From and About History
Here are 10 of our favorite puns about and from history that are still as funny as ever!
The Lighter Side of Love: 18 Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
Love is a serious matter, but it’s good to have some humor about it sometimes.
These Cool Winter Puns Are SNOW Much Fun
Winter will feel much more enjoyable when you read our collection of winter-themed puns and jokes.
Just For Laughs: Creating the World’s Most Awkward Photo
Sometimes, posing for a simple photo shoot can turn out to be painfully awkward. Watch this hilarious prank video to find out more...
Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
Vandalism is WRONG. Unless it makes you laugh out loud. Then it’s okay.
These Coffee Shop Customers Couldn't Believe Their Eyes...
This gag is going to make you wonder: Why aren't they gagging??
In the Mood for a Good Laugh? Take a Look at These Photos
From a deer being interviewed to a waterproof laptop, this list has got it all!
This Comedian's One Liners Always Have Me in Stitches
This hilarious comedian is a champion of the old-fashioned art of the quick-fire one liner. The laughs keep coming thick and fast!
Hilarious: The Young vs. The Old on a Date!
Dating when you're 20 versus when you're middle-aged is similar, but also completely different...
Hilarious! Buying a Bed Takes Some Thought...(RUDE)
When an attractive customer needs convincing about a certain bed, the salesman can't believe his luck!
Beware of These Signs! They Trigger Uncontrollable Laughs
This fresh batch of hilarious signs is not to be missed!
Some People REALLY Don’t Care About Safety - 15 Funny Pics!
Some of these bizarre work safety fails will give you anxiety!
The Most Hilarious Photos from the Animal Kingdom!
Take a look at this hilarious collection of animal-failures.
Classic Comedy: The Miracle of Birth!
This sketch puts a very funny light on the process of hospital birth. Thank goodness it isn't like this in real life... or is it?
Puns Make Me Smile, and These Made Me Laugh!
Some of these puns are pretty cheesy, but they'll make you feel grate!
This is What Happens When Translations Go Wrong...
These examples of translated English didn't quite turn out as intended, with hilarious results!
The Classic Comedy of Rowan Atkinson: A Full Performance!
The comedy of Rowan Atkinson like you've never seen him before - a full performance!
Hilarious: Some Translations are Too Funny to Correct!
When you're running a business in some far-off land, there's no excuse for not using Google Translate to make a sign. These disastrous results are hilarious!
Hilarious: Best of Terrible Strangers Pranks!
This prank compilation focuses on 'terrible people' and the weird things they do before you discover it's a prank!
20 Clever Words for Clever People To Laugh Over...
Have you heard of these words? No?? How come?
These Uproarious Cartoons Make Age a Hilarious Affair...
These comics show that the best way to deal with aging is to have good old laugh it!
Hilarious: You've Got a Lot of Explaining to Do, Mister!
This may be the most brilliant, funniest prank I've ever seen.
Winter Can Be CRAZY Sometimes - 16 Bizarre Pics
These chilly pictures show just how crazy and harsh winter can be.
Who Knew These Famous Figures Were so Cheeky and Funny?
The wittiest, most devastating responses in history. Warning! These are guaranteed to make you laugh!
20 Weird Pictures of Things That Happen Only In India
Things are a little different in India...
Hilarious: Have You Seen The New Senior Bumper Stickers?
Here are some bumper stickers specially made for the retired lifestyle!
Ready For Fun? Time for a Gag-Fest!
This gag collection is sure to put a smile on your face today. What's life without a bit of laughter?
18 Advertising Fails That Are Too Funny To Ignore!
These hilariously bad ads may not convince you to buy the product, but they will surely succeed at cracking you up!
Laugh Until You Howl: The WILDEST Animal Pranks
Have a roaring time with these howlarious wild animal pranks by Just for Laughs.
12 Naughty Dogs Caught Being Cheeky While You Were Out
So this is what your dog is doing when he has the house to himself!
Joke: Making This Call About a Wedding is a Tough Decision
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
18 Terrible Sign Designs That Will Have You Bust a Gut
Feeling down? Well, after reading these 18 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have that problem on your hands...
Ready to Laugh? The Best Senior Jokes in History!
No wonder they call the golden age the happiest time of your life....
10 Minutes of the Funniest Food Pranks!
10 minutes of pure prank fun with food pranks by Just For Laughs.
Hilarious: The Silliest Things in Life are FINALLY Explained
I have never seen more accurate and hilarious assessments of our daily lives, then these simple graphs.
Hilarious! Meet the World's Strongest Teenage Girl
If you're looking for something to brighten up your day, then this brilliant prank from the Just For Laughs group is just what you need!
Funny Today: Caught in the Hood!
This cop pulls people over and asks them to lift their hood. When he slams it shut, he screams because little Johnson got caught under the hood and is stuck!
In Need of a Good Laugh? Try These Cartoons!
Need a smile? Try this collection of goofy, silly and hilarious cartoons!
And the Award for the WEIRDEST Subway Passenger Goes To...
Riding the subway is worth it just to encounter these passengers.
These 14 Photos Were Taken Just a Moment Before Disaster
These perfectly timed photos are hysterically funny!
These Wacky Road Signs Are Worth Stopping For
These bizarre signs will add some humor to your everyday commute.