A man wakes up in a hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and the paramedics couldn't find it.”
The man groans, but the doctor goes on… "You do have $19,000 in insurance compensation coming though, and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $2,000 an inch. The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit uncomfortable. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed." He said with a smile.
The doctor comes back the next day and saw the man standing a little crestfallen.
"So, have you spoken with your wife?” He asked him.
"Yes I have," said the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?”
"Yes," said the man. "We're getting a new kitchen.''