A big football fan goes to the Super Bowl. His seat is in the nosebleed section, but at least he's at the Super Bowl.
He starts looking around the stadium with his binoculars and sees a guy about 5 rows off the field on the 50 yard line with an empty seat beside him. This is driving him nuts, so at half time, he goes down and asks the guy why he has a vacant seat in such a choice location.
The guy says, "My wife and I bought these seats a long time ago, but unfortunately, she passed away."
"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that", says the fan, "But why didn't you just take a relative or a friend?"
"Na," the man shakes his head, "They're all at the funeral."
A woman goes to the doctor for a general examination.
After they have a chat, he performs his examination. He suddenly stops. Asks her to wait, and goes outside to her waiting husband for a private chat.
"Sir, I don't like what I see," Begins the doctor.
"Well that's a bit rude," replies the husband, "I'll have you know she's a wonderful cook and great with the kids."
A man goes to his priest and asks him: "Father, do you think its fair for one man to profit from another man's trouble?"
"Of course not!" Replied the priest. "Even the bible says it is wrong!"
"You're sure?" asks the man.
"Completely!" Answers the priest.
"So..." says the man, "how about giving back the money you took to marry me and my wife?"
A young man asks his father, married many years, the secret to his marriage's success.
His father had this to say: "Well, we sleep in separate beds, drive in separate cars, eat separately, take vacations separately...
In short, we do everything to stay together..."
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Joke: Did He Forget Her Birthday?
This is what happens when you don't remember your wife's date of birth!
This Joke Begins With a Couple Going to a Strip Club
This joke involves a wife who takes her husband to a strip club for what she thinks is the first time...
This Joke Starts With a Couple Making Love In Their Room
A couple is in bed making love when Ole, the man, begins spouting off facts about the animal kingdom. It soon becomes obvious why...
Great Joke: What's Your Secret, Old Man?
This joke begins with an old man and a younger woman getting married...
These Funny Signs Made Me Holler!
Feeling sad or bored? After reading these 12 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have those two problems on your hands.
These Pics Perfectly Show the Funny Side of Life in the UK
These weirdly hilarious pictures perfectly show the funny side of life in the UK.
These Photos Prove Dogs Are The FUNNIEST Pets In Existence
Whether they're caught trying to steal a snack or desperately resisting bath time, dogs never fail to put a smile on our faces. Check out these funny dog moments!
22 Hilarious Observations Made in Different Countries
22 hilarious photos that show that some stereotypes about certain places do have a little bit of truth to them. Rude to some, amusing to others, we present to you our selection of best “Meanwhile, in…” photos.
You Must See These Hilarious Airport Pick-Up Signs
Some people go a little overboard with their airport greetings.
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
When Mrs. Brown Was Just a Naive Little Lady...(Very Rude)
Mrs. Brown does her best to cheer up an anxious expectant mother with tales from her first pregnancy.
To Date this Hilarious Father's Daughter, Here are the Rules
While dads may be glad to see their daughter in love, when it comes to fathers and daughters, there are some hard line rules that NO suitor should cross!
These Photos Could Only Have Been Taken In China...
China is a unique country full of unique characters, and this picture series proves it!
COMEDY COLLECTION: Giggle at Mr. Bean's Funniest Antics
Mr. bean (Sir Rowan Atkinson) is one of comedy’s most memorable characters. Get your funny bone ready for some serious tickling, as we show you 18 of Mr. Bean's funniest skits ever.
15 Stupendously Meaningless Road Signs That Really Exist
Signs are meant to be visual aids, reminders that also serve as a guide. If you ever drove by these incredible road signs, would you know what to do? I wouldn't have a clue.
Simon's Cat: A Day in the Life of a Cat Owner
Being a cat owner really changes you as a person, only cat people understand this. But everyone will get the humor in this new extended Simon's Cat episode!
These Pics Were Taken Just One Second Before "Disaster"
These hilarious photos were taken a split second before “disaster” struck.
Hilariously Adorable: Cutest Babies Fighting With Siblings
These baby fights will have you laughing and smiling.
Hilarious: Some of the Funniest Shop Names I've Seen!
These restaurants are worth visiting just for their hilarious names!
George Carlin Had a Funny Way of Telling the Truth!
Mr George Carlin's legacy will be fondly remembered for many years. There are not many people who can entertain, amuse, and delight by asking a simple question.
If You've Got a Sense of Humor, You'll Love These Liners!
Which of these short jokes will crack you up?
Watch What Happens When Simon's Cat Gets Stuck in a Tree
What happens when Simon's Cat gets stuck in a tree? Hilarious!
HILARIOUS: What Would You Do If You Saw This Happening?
What would you do if you saw a scene like this? It's hilarious to see how the people in this video react to what they see going on in front of them!
15 Hilarious Photobombing Moments That Will Make You Laugh
Sometimes, a photobomb can result in some incredibly hilarious moments.
Hilarious: How to Insult 7 Different Nations!
This kind woman is willing to help her boss with a difficult meeting, but her help isn't all it's cracked up to be...
Australia, the Unpredictable - 21 Sidesplitting Photos!
As these hilarious pictures prove, there's an equal number of pleasant surprises are terrifying encounters in Australia. You just never know what to expect...
20 Hilarious Supermarket Mistakes You've Got to See!
I used to think shopping was boring, until I started noticing these hilarious mistakes all over the place. Here are 20 of the funniest fails I've seen.
These Hilarious Cartoons are All About Senior Life
A huge collection of funny senior cartoons that reveal all about how life changes us as we grow older. Get ready to laugh your heart out!
15 Quirky Spanish Idioms That'll Brighten Your Day
Who doesn’t love a funny idiom? Today, let’s learn about some hilariously quirky Spanish idioms.
I Love Reading These Funny Lines!
There's a grain of truth in every joke. And even as we laugh, the humor helps us remember some truths. Of course, sometimes a funny line... is just a funny line!
16 Awesomely Canadian Things You’ve Got to Love
Canada truly is a special place and these unique pictures perfectly sum up what’s life like there.
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
You've Got to Check Out This Very Funny Animal Compilation
If you love cute animals and are up for a good laugh, then this is the perfect video for you!
20 Hilarious Comic Strips to Bring Joy to Your Day!
Ready to bring some positivity and sunshine to your day? These feel-good comics feature cute animals and puns are sure to make you smile!
Hilarious: When Timing and Comedy Team Up!
Comedy is all about timing and these photos are the perfect example for it!
Funny Cartoons NEVER Go Out of Style!
Time to laugh out loud with these hilarious comics by Leigh Rubin.
So Funny: Have You Ever Seen Christmas Trees Like THESE?
These are the most unusual Xmas trees you have ever seen!
Classic Comedy: How NOT to Pick Up Women
This Carol Burnett classic comedy sketch is all about picking up women, but this guy doesn't have a clue.
These Vintage Family Christmas Cards Are So Bizarre!
Please don’t laugh at these weird family Christmas cards from the 1950s and 1960s.
17 Humorous Vintage Photos That Will Make You Laugh
Enjoy this collection of vintage street photos of France during the 1950s by René Maltête.
How Did This Japanese Woman Teach Her Dog to Whisper?
You've probably heard dogs howl, bark, and growl, but have you ever seen a dog do this?
Indecent Behavior: That's Not the Way to Conduct Yourself!
Waitresses see some shocking behavior from courting couples, but tonight's spectacle was extraordinarily indecent...
Classic Comedy: Lucy and the Chocolate Factory
One of the most famous, and funniest, Lucy moments of all time!