A big football fan goes to the Super Bowl. His seat is in the nosebleed section, but at least he's at the Super Bowl.
He starts looking around the stadium with his binoculars and sees a guy about 5 rows off the field on the 50 yard line with an empty seat beside him. This is driving him nuts, so at half time, he goes down and asks the guy why he has a vacant seat in such a choice location.
The guy says, "My wife and I bought these seats a long time ago, but unfortunately, she passed away."
"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that", says the fan, "But why didn't you just take a relative or a friend?"
"Na," the man shakes his head, "They're all at the funeral."
A woman goes to the doctor for a general examination.
After they have a chat, he performs his examination. He suddenly stops. Asks her to wait, and goes outside to her waiting husband for a private chat.
"Sir, I don't like what I see," Begins the doctor.
"Well that's a bit rude," replies the husband, "I'll have you know she's a wonderful cook and great with the kids."
A man goes to his priest and asks him: "Father, do you think its fair for one man to profit from another man's trouble?"
"Of course not!" Replied the priest. "Even the bible says it is wrong!"
"You're sure?" asks the man.
"Completely!" Answers the priest.
"So..." says the man, "how about giving back the money you took to marry me and my wife?"
A young man asks his father, married many years, the secret to his marriage's success.
His father had this to say: "Well, we sleep in separate beds, drive in separate cars, eat separately, take vacations separately...
In short, we do everything to stay together..."
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Have You Heard This Joke? You MUST See the Circus!
The circus is coming to town and it's the perfect time for a brand, silly new joke!
Have You Heard This Joke? A Man of Small Diseases (Rude)
This joke begins with a one-night stand...
This Joke Begins With a Couple Going to a Strip Club
This joke involves a wife who takes her husband to a strip club for what she thinks is the first time...
Joke: What a Weird Cuckoo Clock...
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight...
These Rude 'Chinese' Proverbs Got Me Laughing
Ok, so they may not really be Chinese, but they are certainly funny!
Short Senior Jokes that'll Make You Crack Up!
Just because you're getting old, it doesn't mean that you have to stop laughing. Here are 25 short senior jokes that'll really tickle your fancy.
Innovation or Insanity? 15 Bizarre Concepts
People leave you wondering where on Earth they got a certain idea that they had. These 16 photos really need to be seen to be believed.
We Can’t Stop Laughing At These Silly Signs
These are some of the most ridiculous signs we've come across.
The Signs at This Gas Station Made the Entire World Laugh!
Surely enough, these hilarious signs will have you laughing for hours!
This Comedian's One Liners Always Have Me in Stitches
This hilarious comedian is a champion of the old-fashioned art of the quick-fire one liner. The laughs keep coming thick and fast!
Crazy! What on Earth Were These Men Thinking?
If you were wondering why women tend to live a bit longer than men, then perhaps this collection of photos will make you understand a little better.
Hilarious: You Can Only See Scenes Like This In AUSTRALIA!
Australia is pretty unique, so good luck finding photos like these anywhere else...
This Unforgettable & Hilarious Performance is One-of-a-Kind!
You don't see such effortless grace in comedy as with these two love birds anymore.
10 Minutes of the Funniest Food Pranks!
10 minutes of pure prank fun with food pranks by Just For Laughs.
Three Sly Phone Scams That Could Cost You Big Time...
Phone scams are nothing new, but the way they are being executed now could catch you out when you least expect it. Here's what to look out for!
16 Parenthood Comics That’ll Make You Roll In the Aisles
These witty comics show the funny side of having a family and parenting
18 Hilariously Weird Signs We Just Had to Share
Warning signs aren’t supposed to be funny, right?
Stand-up Comedy: What Men Really Think of Their Marriage
Marriage is certainly a blessing we all appreciate. But that doesn't mean we can't have a good laugh about it! This portrayal is cynical, but deadly funny!
Dogs vs. Their Greatest Enemy: The Bath...
Sorry, my dear canine buddies, you'll still need to take that bath!
Hilarious: 15 Witty Bar and Restaurant Signs
These bars and restaurants deserve a visit just for their funny signs.
These Uproarious Cartoons Make Age a Hilarious Affair...
These comics show that the best way to deal with aging is to have good old laugh it!
These Hilarious Cartoons Get What Living with Dogs is Like!
The way we are with dogs and the way dogs are with us, is something only dog owners really get. If you're a dog owner these comics will make you laugh a lot!
This is a Song All Mothers Should Hear. Hilarious!
This beautiful and hilarious song should be sung by all mothers everywhere.
Hilarious: Don't Mess With This Little Girl!
When people passed by, they saw a very strange sight
15 Funny Pictures of Pets Engaged in Shenanigans
These hilarious entries from the Comedy Pet Photography Awards will have you rolling in laughter.
Hilarious: 15 Embarrassingly Funny Autocorrect Disasters
Autocorrect fails can be ridiculously funny sometimes.
12 Naughty Dogs Caught Being Cheeky While You Were Out
So this is what your dog is doing when he has the house to himself!
Try to Wrap Your Head Around These 17 Optical Illusions
Don’t trust your eyes! These mind-bending photos aren’t as bizarre as they seem at first, but they will try to mislead you...
The Funniest Questions About Retirement are Finally Answered
Retirement has many secrets. Here are some important, 'hard' questions about this phase of life.
Adorable: Before and After Photos of Pets Getting a Bath!
Take a look at these lovely pets, then wake them wet with one click of a mouse. The look on their freshly washed faces is absolutely priceless.
17 Unexpected Objects With Friendly Faces!
These smiling fungi and friendly dressers are here to lift your spirits!
Airports Are Full Of Weird and Wonderful Different Sights
Airports are full of weird and wonderful different sights.
17 Humorous Vintage Photos That Will Make You Laugh
Enjoy this collection of vintage street photos of France during the 1950s by René Maltête.
These Hotel Goofs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Hotels are usually pretty nice, but as you're about to see, you will sometimes come across some hilarious bloopers.
Can You Watch This Entire Video Without Laughing?
From guilty dogs, to funny cat fails, monkeys, funny squirrels, horses and so on. Take a look at this hilarious compilation:
These Dogs Just Don't Understand the Concept of Size!
Maybe a cat took their bed, maybe they just miss being small, but one thing is for sure - these dogs need a bigger bed!
Hilarious: A Most Unusual Sermon!
Rowan Atkinson, the famous comedian, gives a sermon the likes of which you've never heard...
Never Thought Bathroom Signs Could Be So Funny! (Rude)
These hilarious bathrooms signs are sure to make your trip to the little boy's or girl's room much more enjoyable!
Hilarious: 15 Misspelled Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
We collected 15 hysterical signs with spelling mistakes here, so brace yourselves - because it’s about to get funny!
Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
These two improv performers are only allowed to say one word at a time. Following a suggestion from the audience.
Hilarious: Who Needs a Truck When You Can Have a Motorcycle
Although motorcycles were designed to transport a couple of people, some around the world have found more... innovative (and hilarious) ways of using them.
We All Make These Mistakes as Parents... Hilarious!
When situations like this happen, we cannot help but giggle. Take a look at these hilarious parenting fails.