A big football fan goes to the Super Bowl. His seat is in the nosebleed section, but at least he's at the Super Bowl.
He starts looking around the stadium with his binoculars and sees a guy about 5 rows off the field on the 50 yard line with an empty seat beside him. This is driving him nuts, so at half time, he goes down and asks the guy why he has a vacant seat in such a choice location.
The guy says, "My wife and I bought these seats a long time ago, but unfortunately, she passed away."
"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that", says the fan, "But why didn't you just take a relative or a friend?"
"Na," the man shakes his head, "They're all at the funeral."
A woman goes to the doctor for a general examination.
After they have a chat, he performs his examination. He suddenly stops. Asks her to wait, and goes outside to her waiting husband for a private chat.
"Sir, I don't like what I see," Begins the doctor.
"Well that's a bit rude," replies the husband, "I'll have you know she's a wonderful cook and great with the kids."
A man goes to his priest and asks him: "Father, do you think its fair for one man to profit from another man's trouble?"
"Of course not!" Replied the priest. "Even the bible says it is wrong!"
"You're sure?" asks the man.
"Completely!" Answers the priest.
"So..." says the man, "how about giving back the money you took to marry me and my wife?"
A young man asks his father, married many years, the secret to his marriage's success.
His father had this to say: "Well, we sleep in separate beds, drive in separate cars, eat separately, take vacations separately...
In short, we do everything to stay together..."
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Have You Heard This Joke? A Man of Small Diseases (Rude)
This joke begins with a one-night stand...
This Joke Starts With Two Elderly People In a Trailer Park
Two elderly people sharing a trailer home decide that it's time to get married...
Funny Joke: One, Two Three and You're Ready to Go!
This joke begins with an old man going to see a witch doctor
20 Funny Cat Comics Every Feline Pawrent Will Relate To
Enjoy this cute and humorous collection of comics by Lingvistov that show what it’s like living with a cat.
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
Signs That Aren't Meant to Be Translated Except For Laughs!
These brilliant signs presumably have more accurate meanings when read in their own language, but in English, they're just hilarious!
20 Hilarious Comic Strips to Bring Joy to Your Day!
Ready to bring some positivity and sunshine to your day? These feel-good comics feature cute animals and puns are sure to make you smile!
You're Never Too Old To Have Fun! These Seniors Prove It
There may be some seniors who'd rather take life slowly. But others, do not want to waste a second having fun.
Wives of Rival Politicians Fight on the Carol Burnett Show
This clip from the Carol Burnett show follows the wives of two rival politicians, who are friends in one minute and enemies the next!
Hilarious: The Wackiest Car Designs I've Ever Seen...
These car owners sure know how to make their vehicles stand out on the streets.
20 Hilarious Road Signs You'll Only Ever See in Australia
The land down under has a language of its own as you can see by these signs that are equal parts strange and hysterical
HILARIOUS: 20 Signs That Are Too Funny to Pass By
We could all use a bit of laughter these days, and what’s better than brilliantly funny signs?
These Signs Are Way Too Funny!
You know what time it is? It’s time for some hilariously funny sign!
Caution! These Ridiculous Signs Will Make You Laugh!
Many caution signs can be redundant or plain weird. Here are 25 such caution signs that will have you either laughing or scratching you head
These Wedding Day Pranks Will Leave You Gasping For Air
Hilarious wedding pranks that are guaranteed to make you laugh.
Hilarious: The Evil Grocery Store!
This is just the kind of pranks I like, and a very creative use of a grocery store!
This Gag Compilation is Literally Out of This World...
This video is so much fun, you're gonna have a blast!
Every Species Has Its Comedians...
There's nothing better than animals to make us smile and laugh!
Read These Funny Night Quotes for Chuckles Before Bedtime
Read these funny night quotes for chuckles before bedtime.
The Silliest Construction Mistakes That'll Make You Laugh!
There was very little thought process behind these mistakes...
This Comedian's One Liners Always Have Me in Stitches
This hilarious comedian is a champion of the old-fashioned art of the quick-fire one liner. The laughs keep coming thick and fast!
Classic Comedy: Mr Bean Is the Ultimate Hopeless Romantic
I always considered myself a hopeless romantic, that is until I saw how Mr. Bean's big date went.
Babbling Babies & Playful Animals = Laughter Unlimited
This hilariously cute video will save your boring day!
Hilarious: 15 Witty Bar and Restaurant Signs
These bars and restaurants deserve a visit just for their funny signs.
Classic Comedy: The Most Hilarious Breakfast Ever Made...
This is one of the funniest comedy sketches of all time, in my opinion. Because when it comes to breakfast, timing is everything.
These 14 Photos Were Taken Just a Moment Before Disaster
These perfectly timed photos are hysterically funny!
Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2022: 16 Silly Winning Pics
The Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards are back! Here are the winning images from this year’s contest.
This is Definitely the Funniest Song About Flight Discounts!
If something looks too good to be true, it usually is. So these ladies decided to write a hilarious song to warn us all!
It's Not Fun Being Old, But Sometimes It's Funny...
Let me make your day with these photos that made almost made me spill my coffee this morning.
Classic Comedy: The Case of the Troublesome Sandwich
Among all the hundreds of hilarious Mr. Bean sketches, this is one of my all time favorites
Hilarious: This New Train Line Is Certainly a Hard Sell
This classic British comedy sketch captures everything that's great about British humor. Watch this poor rep pitch to an utterly clueless transport minister...
No Object is Safe From These Grumpy Cats!
No object is safe from these cats! In this hilarious video, you'll see cats attacking vacuum attachments, pushing things off tables, and much more!
Small Town America Has Some RIDICULOUS Laws
It’s hard to believe these dumb laws still exist!
Hilarious: Don't Mess With This Little Girl!
When people passed by, they saw a very strange sight
Animals Bring So Much Joy Into Our Lives - & Make Us Laugh
There's no doubt that animals bring great joy to many people, not least by making them laugh. Take a look at these 15 funny animals doing their thing.
Over 100 Hilarious Memes!
Enjoy many categories and over 100 funny and hilarious memes of all kinds.
Nostalgic Comedy: Did Bert Forget Their Anniversary?
In this episode Molly thinks Bert forgot their anniversary.
Alaska Has Some Sights No Other Place Has...
Alaska is a special kind of place. Here are some hilarious photos that will prove to you - you're in Alaska, buddy! See for yourself.
Hilarious: These "translators" Should Quit Their Job...
This is hilarious!! See These Signs in ENGLISH!!