"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
This Joke Starts With a Middle-aged Lady Going to Hospital
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
This Joke Starts With a Woman Joining a Country Club
A woman joins a country-club and sets out to play with the guys at 6.30am. She immediately impresses them with her golfing prowess...
Joke: The Resemblance is Uncanny...
When a pastor is mistaken for a country singer while doing his rounds, he's quite taken aback, however he soon gets used to his new-found fame...
Cheeky Joke: The Doctor and the Stutterer
Enjoy this funny joke about a guy who wanted his stutter removed...
This Joke Starts With an Elderly Couple At a Travel Agency
Two elderly people are spotted by a travel agent at his agency's window. He promptly invites them in and discusses sending them on a dream vacation...
Hilarious: The Best of Little Johnny Jokes!
I'm always partial to a good Little Johnny joke, but when there's a collection of them in one place, you know there'll be people falling about laughing...
Your Smile Video of the Day
Watch this fluffy owl as it apparently pets a no less fluffy dog in friendship, once again proving to us that many kinds of animals can show affection, not even just mammals.
Why Does This Man Pay to Get His Face Slapped?
This man pays to get his face slapped, why does he do it? Because it's a very funny prank!
When it Comes to Comedy, Twins Have an Unfair Advantage...
Just for Laughs is at it again, this time with the best twin pranks around.
Hilarious: A Punny Sign Collection!
What could be better than a mixture of funny signs and clever puns? If that sounds intriguing, you simply must check out these hilarious signs!
17 Unexpected Objects With Friendly Faces!
These smiling fungi and friendly dressers are here to lift your spirits!
Hilariously Funny DIY Fixes (16 Pics)
These hilarious pictures show some of the most unique DIY botch-jobs.
This Rude Prank Will Have You Screaming With Laughter!
When the a gag team sets up a secret love affair between a priest and a couple of nuns, the resulting chaos that ensues will make you scream with laughter!
When Teaching First Aid, Try to Avoid Having Mr. Bean There
A classic Mr. Bean sketch that always makes me laugh, is Mr. Bean's idea of first aid...
When Birds Misbehave, the Results Are Utterly Hilarious!
If you think that only dogs and cats are capable of being total jerks, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
This Video is Proof Farm Animals Are Just As Funny As Pets
Who said dogs and cats are the best or even cutest animal comedians? Definitely not these farm animals, each one funnier than the last!
20 Funny Quotes for All the Introverts Out There
Do you identify yourself as an introvert? Then you will relate to these hilarious quotes.
Cats Vs Dogs: Who's in Charge? Adorable and Hilarious!
When it comes to cats vs dogs, who's the boss? Hilarious!
Hilarious: I Swear This Box Just Grew On Its Own!
These people are either failing their vision or their sanity!
Caution! These Ridiculous Signs Will Make You Laugh!
Many caution signs can be redundant or plain weird. Here are 25 such caution signs that will have you either laughing or scratching you head
Couples Will Totally Relate to These Funny Cartoons!
Being coupled up can be a wonderful thing, but there's no denying that relationships have their ups and downs. Here are 12 funny cartoons about couples.
Puns Make Me Smile, and These Made Me Laugh!
Some of these puns are pretty cheesy, but they'll make you feel grate!
Hilarious: These Christmas Cartoons Made Me Laugh Out Lo
This is the best time of the year to laugh all together as a family with these Christmas funnies.
Excuse Me, Interior Designers? May I Ask... WHY?!?
These terrible interior design mistakes are so bad they're actually hilarious.
Classic Comedy: The Grammar Nazi
This comedy sketch begins with a standard business meeting, but the boss has a real problem with people's language...
Hilarious! Some Animals Cannot Pose Well in Photos
Here are some majestic and graceful animals, captured in less than fluttering moments.
Over 100 Dad Jokes to Make You the Corniest!
Over 100 cringy dad jokes in several categories, including cheesy dad jokes, corny dad jokes, dumb dad jokes, dad jokes for adults, dirty dad jokes and more.
Hilarious: This Just May Be Why Building Codes Exist...
20 examples of the worst construction flaws, that will hopefully remind you to hire a professional next time.
Hilarious: Best of Terrible Strangers Pranks!
This prank compilation focuses on 'terrible people' and the weird things they do before you discover it's a prank!
Classic Comedy: Mr Bean Is the Ultimate Hopeless Romantic
I always considered myself a hopeless romantic, that is until I saw how Mr. Bean's big date went.
You Wouldn't Believe These Things Happen at Hotels
These hotel fails are the funniest things you will see all day.
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
As We Age, We Learn Some Hilarious Things...
The older you get, the more you realize what a funny thing life is.
The Famous Sketch that Made Millions Laugh!
Monty Python performed loads of hilarious sketches, but only this one gets me out of my chair and secretly practicing my own silly walks!
Small Town America Has Some RIDICULOUS Laws
It’s hard to believe these dumb laws still exist!
You Won't Believe What This Little Old Lady Gets Up To...
This hilarious prank involves a sweet old lady pretending to deal drugs in large quantities in a public park...
Hilarious! Men Can Handle Anything Impossible!
Hilarious photos illustrating how men are willing to do just about anything!
20 Ho, Ho, Hilarious Christmas Quotes to Make You Chuckle
Get ready to welcome the holidays with these hilarious Christmas quotes.
The Doggy Salesman: This Prank Will Make You Laugh!
Just for laughs does it again with a doggy salesman that astounds all comers!
Eek! Remember When Chaplin Got Trapped in the Lion's Cage?
This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
HILARIOUS: Some People Have Unusual Solutions
Ingenious solutions to ordinary problems that will make you laugh.
These Architects Should Really Rethink Their Career Choice
Somebody messed up big time. You’ll laugh your head off seeing how wrong construction can go with these hilarious photos.
Some People REALLY Don’t Care About Safety - 15 Funny Pics!
Some of these bizarre work safety fails will give you anxiety!
Hilarious: When Cakes Go Wrong!
These 20 hilarious cakes are just not what the customers were asking for!