"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
This Joke Starts With a Christian Lady On a Business Trip
A Christian business lady is asked why she always carries her Bible with her. She begins to respond...
Joke: Some People Are Just Never Happy in Life!
Sometimes in life, you just can't get it right in the eyes of people. That's why you really shouldn't try to please everyone...
Joke: A Woman's Clever Answer
This woman just thought of the perfect answer to this cop's accusation.
This Joke Starts With a Man On His Deathbed
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife and four children. Three are tall and athletic, but the fourth... isn't. He asks his wife about them...
Joke: Lights Go Out, Naughty Comes Out...
Four people are in a train compartment together when everything goes dark. An opportunistic poor man decides to capitalize on the opportunity...
Hilarious: The Best of Little Johnny Jokes!
I'm always partial to a good Little Johnny joke, but when there's a collection of them in one place, you know there'll be people falling about laughing...
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
19 Photos Proving That Sleeping Pets Is the Funniest Thing
Have you ever caught your pet in an awkward sleeping position? If so, you know these can be really hilarious!
Hilarious Birthday Bloopers Make the Best Belly Laughs
These hilarious birthday bloopers will have you laughing all day!
These Funny Photos Show People's Relationship With Food!
There's no doubting that everyone's relationship with food is different, and this leads to people creating hilarious memes related to it! Take a look.
These Truly Outrageous Sights Can Only be Found in Russia!
If you're a huge fan of all things weird and wonderful, then there's no better place for you to visit than Russia. Here's why...
Ready to Laugh? The Best Senior Jokes in History!
No wonder they call the golden age the happiest time of your life....
Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
These two improv performers are only allowed to say one word at a time. Following a suggestion from the audience.
Don't Forget Your Hands - Hilarious Gag
People always say not to trust psychics, but I'll bet none of them have ever imagined a situation like this one!
Hilarious: These Funny Restaurant Signs Cracked People Up
Whenever people drove by these fast food joints, they were stopped in their tracks by their hilarious signs. Take a look.
The Ridiculous Shenanigans of Laurel and Hardy
Laurel and Hardy never fail to make us laugh.
Hilarious: Don't Mess With This Little Girl!
When people passed by, they saw a very strange sight
HILARIOUS: What Would You Do If You Saw This Happening?
What would you do if you saw a scene like this? It's hilarious to see how the people in this video react to what they see going on in front of them!
When Christmas Decorations Failed Miserably - Funny Pics
These people ruined Christmas with their hilariously bad decorations.
Hilarious: I Can't Believe People Can Really Carry This Much
These guys have taken overload to the next level. How on earth can they carry this much?
Hilarious: 22 Witty and Clever Cartoons!
22 of the funniest New Yorker cartoons that are just clever enough to be funny but not mysteriously so.
Hilarious: The Marriage Dictionary!
Have you been through the marriage dictionary yet? I think you'll find that the definitions it contains are much different to the ones in a regular dictionary.
These Chatty Parrots Will Crack You Up!
Talking parrots provide their owners with many hilarious moments, especially when they are in a chatty mood...
This Demonstration Went Really Wrong. LOL.
These people just didn't know their own strength!
These Quirky Winter Quotes Will Help Warm Your Frosty Days
Embrace the cold season with these quirky winter quotes!
I Dare You Not to Laugh at These Silly Signs
Who on earth put these pointless signs all over our streets?!
No Matter My Age, a Funny Cartoon is a Funny Cartoon
These cartoons will make you laugh at any age.
These Are the Most Absurd DIY Projects We’ve Come Across
It’s nice to do DIY projects, but this is just ridiculous.
When Teaching First Aid, Try to Avoid Having Mr. Bean There
A classic Mr. Bean sketch that always makes me laugh, is Mr. Bean's idea of first aid...
Every Species Has Its Comedians...
There's nothing better than animals to make us smile and laugh!
The Empty Car Drive Through Prank!
Some people come up with the silliest pranks, but what do we care, we're the ones who get to laugh out loud at the bewilderment of these drive through workers, as a car driven by a ghost goes to collect its order...
These Animal Pick Up Lines Are a Hoot!
When it comes to pick up lines, the animal world provides some of the funniest! This collection of 70 animal pick up lines is gonna make you roar with laughter.
The 30 Craziest State Laws Are Just Too Funny For Words!
Check out 30 of the craziest laws that are still in effect in the US today!
HILARIOUS: The Very Best of Classic Blonde Jokes!
Blondes aren't stupid, but these classic blonde jokes are still really funny.
12 Naughty Dogs Caught Being Cheeky While You Were Out
So this is what your dog is doing when he has the house to himself!
When a Ridiculous Sign is Put Up, Hilarity Ensues!
There are certain signs that you come across that leave you wondering what was going on in the mind of the person that put it up. Here are 16 hilarious signs.
And the Award for the WEIRDEST Subway Passenger Goes To...
Riding the subway is worth it just to encounter these passengers.
Hilarious: 16 Absolutely Laugh-Worthy Construction Blunders
These construction fails will make you question everything.
15 Hilarious Photos Taken a Second Before Disaster
A series of photos happening just before disaster strikes.
This is What Happens When Translations Go Wrong...
These examples of translated English didn't quite turn out as intended, with hilarious results!
These Witty Responses to Public Notices are Hilarious
Check out this collection of 15 petty notices along with their extremely hilarious responses!
These Funny ‘Science Facts’ Will Leave You Confused
It’s not always that science makes us laugh, but these intentionally wrong science facts will give you a good chuckle.
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean At the Restaurant
Watch and see what happens as Mr. Bean gets a taste of a raw Steak Tartare, and decides he doesn’t really like it…
Hilarious: These Animals Decided to be Jerks Today
Animals are lovely, but even they have the scoundrels that annoy the rest!
Even At a Wedding, Sometimes Things Just Go All Wrong!
Hilarious: Anything Can Go Wrong at a Wedding...
Hilarious: You Can Only See Scenes Like This In AUSTRALIA!
Australia is pretty unique, so good luck finding photos like these anywhere else...