"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Joke: The Resemblance is Uncanny...
When a pastor is mistaken for a country singer while doing his rounds, he's quite taken aback, however he soon gets used to his new-found fame...
This Joke Starts With a Man On His Deathbed
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife and four children. Three are tall and athletic, but the fourth... isn't. He asks his wife about them...
Hilarious: Can I Have a Penny For Your Thoughts, Lad?
A Scottish lad and lass are sitting on a heathery hillside in the Highlands when they begin to converse...
Joke: To Heaven and Back
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late
A businessman works late to be with his young secretary, but eventually makes his way home. He begins to think up his excuses...
Hilarious: The Best of Little Johnny Jokes!
I'm always partial to a good Little Johnny joke, but when there's a collection of them in one place, you know there'll be people falling about laughing...
WATCH: 10 Funny Xmas Editions of 'Simon's Cat' All in One!
These hilarious cartoons from Simon's cat serve to remind us not to forget something really important: It's Christmas for our cats too!
Funny: These Kids' Christmas Letters Will Make You Chuckle!
Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are extremely forthright when it comes to making requests. Here are some funny and cute Santa letters from kids.
These Quirky Winter Quotes Will Help Warm Your Frosty Days
Embrace the cold season with these quirky winter quotes!
Some Animals Just Weren't Meant to Be Pets...
These pet owners aren't interested in cats, dogs, fish and birds like you and me. They prefer something a little wilder, and well, stranger...
In the Mood for a Good Laugh? Take a Look at These Photos
From a deer being interviewed to a waterproof laptop, this list has got it all!
These Dogs' Funny Faces Made Me Laugh My Socks Off!
It's the simplest things in life that make me laugh. Like these 23 brilliant photos of dogs chasing treats! Priceless.
These Wedding Day Pranks Will Leave You Gasping For Air
Hilarious wedding pranks that are guaranteed to make you laugh.
These Signboards Have the Worst Spelling Mistakes
These have to be some of the most unfortunate typos ever.
HILARIOUS: 20 Signs That Are Too Funny to Pass By
We could all use a bit of laughter these days, and what’s better than brilliantly funny signs?
Hilarious: Time to Laugh at Some Fresh Cartoons!
Forget everything today and just enjoy these hilarious one-panel comics by Mark Lynch.
Collection: The Most Hilarious and Bizarre Signs
his wonderful collection will make you laugh out loud as we present you with some of the funniest signs you've ever seen!
22 Hilarious Reasons That'll Make You Love Cats More!
These hilarious photos of cats show them breaking the laws of physics.
Do You Remember This Classic Sketch? What a Riot!
Benny Hill goes to the big apple and teaches us a few things about meeting women.
Small Town America Has Some RIDICULOUS Laws
It’s hard to believe these dumb laws still exist!
These Hilarious Pictures Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
These photos will have you laughing out loud.
This is What Happens When You Try and Fix it Yourself!
Have you ever tried fixing something yourself and failed miserably? Then you're going to love these photos...
Hilarious Birthday Bloopers Make the Best Belly Laughs
These hilarious birthday bloopers will have you laughing all day!
Some People REALLY Don’t Care About Safety - 15 Funny Pics!
Some of these bizarre work safety fails will give you anxiety!
Cheeky, Funny, Unapologetic Children - 20 Pics
Here are 20 funny test answers, all written by children who just couldn't be bothered.
Should We Really “Beware” These Cute Doggies?
These signs ask us to “beware” of these dogs. But we think you will end up laughing at them.
Ready For Fun? Time for a Gag-Fest!
This gag collection is sure to put a smile on your face today. What's life without a bit of laughter?
This is a Song All Mothers Should Hear. Hilarious!
This beautiful and hilarious song should be sung by all mothers everywhere.
Hilarious: The Young vs. The Old on a Date!
Dating when you're 20 versus when you're middle-aged is similar, but also completely different...
18 Terrible Sign Designs That Will Have You Bust a Gut
Feeling down? Well, after reading these 18 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have that problem on your hands...
These Dumb Actions By People Will Leave You Aghast
Some people do things that simply leave you scratching your head - and make you laugh. Take a look at 22 pictures of the dumbest actions you'll ever see.
These Amusing Animals Clearly Think They're People
If you thought our unique human traits set us apart from animals think again, because these pets clearly think they're human!
These Photos Are so Ironic You'll Howl with Laughter!
The pictures you're about to see are so permeated with irony that they are scarcely believable. Here are 29 of the most ironic pictures you'll ever see.
This is Definitely the Funniest Song About Flight Discounts!
If something looks too good to be true, it usually is. So these ladies decided to write a hilarious song to warn us all!
Hilarious: When Cakes Go Wrong!
These 20 hilarious cakes are just not what the customers were asking for!
No Object is Safe From These Grumpy Cats!
No object is safe from these cats! In this hilarious video, you'll see cats attacking vacuum attachments, pushing things off tables, and much more!
Hilarious Sketch: The Great Piano Concerto
This hilarious sketch by a classic comedy duo puts you in the middle of the worst execution of a concert imaginable.
These Funny Illustrations Show What Life Is Like With Kids!
Jim Benton is a cartoonist and illustrator who has managed to capture life with young kids perfectly. Take a look at his hilarious drawings.
Hilarious: What Is the TRUE Meaning of Marriage?
This is why all young lovers look forward to marriage....
Hilarious: How to Insult 7 Different Nations!
This kind woman is willing to help her boss with a difficult meeting, but her help isn't all it's cracked up to be...
Keep Your Lips and Hugs to Yourself Human! Hilarious
A lot of dog and cat owners love to kiss their pets. But often the pet doesn't understand this strange custom. This hilarious compilation shows their reactions!
I Can't Stop Laughing at These Bizarre Signs!
These are the most ludicrous and unnecessary signs I have ever seen in my life. Laugh at the bonkers things we are told to do by these ubiquitous notices.
HILARIOUS: The Office Can Be a Funny Place!
Four short and funny jokes about office and business situations!
This Gag Compilation is Literally Out of This World...
This video is so much fun, you're gonna have a blast!
These Hilarious Pub Signs Are Enough to Tickle Your Fancy
When you're a pub landlord, it's always a challenge to get the customers through the door, but these 17 hilarious signs will show you how creative they can be.
The Funniest Videos are Shot Right at Home!
These hilarious videos are all winners of the Funniest Home Videos Awards!