The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
This Joke Starts With a Greedy Man...
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Joke: It's Difficult to Fulfill a Dying Wish Sometimes
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These Are the Funniest Signs I've Seen in a While...
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These Mistranslations are Too Funny Not to Share
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Hilarious: Old Ladies Know How to Ask the Best Questions...
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Classic Comedy: The Miracle of Birth!
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These Adorably Cute & Funny Comic Strips Are So Relatable!
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The Singing Pug That Cannot Run - Hilarious!
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WATCH: Man Ditches "Pregnant" Wife In Hilarious Prank
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Hilarious! Mr Bean Wreaks Havoc at the School Open Day
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Hilarious: Have You Seen The New Senior Bumper Stickers?
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This Hilarious Video Starts With an Elephant...
This is one of the most clever pranks I've ever seen
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When a Ridiculous Sign is Put Up, Hilarity Ensues!
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