At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the US Attorney General said he believed the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult," he said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are three sides to every triangle".
When asked to comment on the arrest, the President said:
"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes".
Photos by Deposit Photos.
Classic Comedy: The Grammar Nazi
This comedy sketch begins with a standard business meeting, but the boss has a real problem with people's language...
This Joke Starts With a Little Boy Pulling Faces At School
When a school teacher sees a student pulling faces in the school playground, she thinks on her feet to find the perfect thing to say...
Joke: How Much is Five Plus Five?
Tommy isn't very good at math, and things become quite interesting when his teacher calls him out in class!
This Joke Teaches a Cheating Husband a Lesson...
When a husband decides to get into a certain complicated equation with his wife, she soon fires back with a just-as-clever answer....
Hilarious: Why You DON'T Send a Man to the Grocery Store
Sending a man grocery shopping - what could possibly go wrong?
Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
Vandalism is WRONG. Unless it makes you laugh out loud. Then it’s okay.
These Hilarious Grammar Jokes are a Verbal Delight!
Do you enjoy a good pun? Somehow, they become even funnier when they're related to grammar. Here are 17 hilarious grammar jokes for you to enjoy.
These Inventors Thought Outside the Box! Hilarious
These creators came up with some pretty hilarious inventions.
The Ridiculous Shenanigans of Laurel and Hardy
Laurel and Hardy never fail to make us laugh.
HILARIOUS: The Very Best of Classic Blonde Jokes!
Blondes aren't stupid, but these classic blonde jokes are still really funny.
Hilarious! These Kids Should Have Never Been Left Alone
What do your grandchildren get up to when they are left alone? Find out here!
Every Species Has Its Comedians...
There's nothing better than animals to make us smile and laugh!
Hilarious: Who Needs a Truck When You Can Have a Motorcycle
Although motorcycles were designed to transport a couple of people, some around the world have found more... innovative (and hilarious) ways of using them.
Well, You Won't See THESE Every Day!
In this captivating collection of images, we delve into the extraordinary and the amusing.
When Kid Photos Don't Come Out the Way You Hoped...
Click to see the outcome of kids who did not want to have their photos taken.
14 Grocery Store Signs to Make Your Shopping Funnier!
Chuckle with this super collection of some of the wittiest and funniest signs found inside supermarkets.
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown's Having a VERY Weird Day...
Mrs. Brown will give you a big grin with another hilarious scene.
These Hilarious Cartoons Get What Living with Dogs is Like!
The way we are with dogs and the way dogs are with us, is something only dog owners really get. If you're a dog owner these comics will make you laugh a lot!
This Hilarious Video Starts With an Elephant...
This is one of the most clever pranks I've ever seen
Hilarious! 16 Photos of Cops Having a Good Time...
These 16 photos prove that police officers can have a cracking sense of humor!
These Are the Funniest Signs I've Seen in a While...
These hilarious signs required some devious minds behind them...
These Cartoons Will Make You Laugh and Think...
This artist has an incredible knack for capturing the ironies and paradoxes arising from the use of technology in the modern world. View his illustrations here.
Hilarious: How Weirs is the English Language?
English is a really funny language, especially when considering how meanings can be changed when punctuation's omitted. Take a look at these 9 hysterical memes.
Hilarious: This Week's Funniest Cartoons!
Our selection for this week's hilarious comics, there's a lot to smile and giggle about on this page. So if you need a moment to smile, or indeed some solid minutes - we've got you covered.
Nothing Captures Life's Absurdities Better Than a Cartoon..
Life is a bit of a puzzle these days, yet these hilarious comics seem to put the pieces back together!
Hilarious These Silly Signs Made Me Laugh!
19 funny signs that were written on purpose to be hilarious and witty.
Hilarious Stand Up: Why Teens Are God's Revenge
A hilarious stand up by comedian veteran Jeff Allen, all about teens and why they are God's revenge.
Hilarious: If You're Going to Insult, Do It With Style...
you did not want to get on Shakespeare's bad side, for you might get one of these...
We Can’t Stop Laughing At These Silly Signs
These are some of the most ridiculous signs we've come across.
These Wacky Road Signs Are Worth Stopping For
These bizarre signs will add some humor to your everyday commute.
Classic Comedy: Sure, I Can Play the Concerto!
In this classic skit, world famous conductor Andre Previn attempts to get Eric Morecambe to play Grieg's Piano Concerto. How will they get on?
Classic Comedy: How NOT to Pick Up Women
This Carol Burnett classic comedy sketch is all about picking up women, but this guy doesn't have a clue.
15 Hilarious Photos Taken a Second Before Disaster
A series of photos happening just before disaster strikes.
Hilarious: 15 Witty Bar and Restaurant Signs
These bars and restaurants deserve a visit just for their funny signs.
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
Hilarious: The Evil Grocery Store!
This is just the kind of pranks I like, and a very creative use of a grocery store!
Hilarious: The Gunslinger and the Evil Voice! (Rude Humor)
This western is so funny and breaks all conventions. Only watch if you don't mind foul language!
Funny Photos: You Had One Job!
These ridiculously funny work fail pictures will have you laughing all day.
Furry Scary: When Pets Left Their Owners Spooked!
Pets are adorable and make our lives better. Sometimes, though, they scare the living daylights out of us.
20 Frighteningly Funny Signs to Watch Out For...
Some signs are so unintentionally funny that you can’t help but laugh out loud. Here’s a look at some of them.
These 14 Photos Were Taken Just a Moment Before Disaster
These perfectly timed photos are hysterically funny!
These Doormats Are Just Hilarious (16 Pics)
Amuse your guests with these ridiculously creative door mats.
To Date this Hilarious Father's Daughter, Here are the Rules
While dads may be glad to see their daughter in love, when it comes to fathers and daughters, there are some hard line rules that NO suitor should cross!