At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the US Attorney General said he believed the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult," he said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are three sides to every triangle".
When asked to comment on the arrest, the President said:
"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes".
Photos by Deposit Photos.
Joke: She Still Likes to Have a Drink
An old lady is celebrating her 80th birthday aboard a cruise ship. The bartender buys her a drink, and she proceeds to have a few...
Joke: Don't Drink and Jump
A man and a woman are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. The man soon makes a startling revelation...
Hilarious: Life Summed Up With Easy Equations!
Some interesting mathematical formulas from the school of life!
Hilarious Nature: True Facts About Elephants!
Come with us as we explore this huge mammal, make some jokes and meet one of the smartest and most fascinating of all animals, the elephant.
18 Terrible Sign Designs That Will Have You Bust a Gut
Feeling down? Well, after reading these 18 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have that problem on your hands...
Hilarious: Some Translations are Too Funny to Correct!
When you're running a business in some far-off land, there's no excuse for not using Google Translate to make a sign. These disastrous results are hilarious!
The Funniest Videos are Shot Right at Home!
These hilarious videos are all winners of the Funniest Home Videos Awards!
Hilarious: If You Love English You'll Love These Puns!
We’ve collected 14 side-splitting jokes and puns that highlight common grammatical mistakes, contain clever twists on words, and more!
These Dogs' Funny Faces Made Me Laugh My Socks Off!
It's the simplest things in life that make me laugh. Like these 23 brilliant photos of dogs chasing treats! Priceless.
13 Hilarious Protest Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
Some people like to think that holding up signs will achieve something, but others go to protests for a laugh. Here are 13 funny examples.
Hilarious: The Evil Grocery Store!
This is just the kind of pranks I like, and a very creative use of a grocery store!
Hilarious: Mother Versus Father, Who Does it Better?
When it comes to parenting, who does it better, mothers or fathers?
Well, You Won't See THESE Every Day!
In this captivating collection of images, we delve into the extraordinary and the amusing.
Hilarious: 16 of the FUNNIEST DIY Repair Jobs!
These ridiculously funny DIY fixes will crack you up!
Pets That Never Fail to Make Us Laugh & Brighten Our Day
Pets always have a way of making us laugh. Take a look at this hilarious clip that will surely brighten your day.
Simon's Cat in: Double Trouble!
To those that aren't familiar with Simon's Cat, it is a well known book and series following the adventures of a very smart little cat and the challenges his owner and himself need to deal with. It's furiously funny and great fun!
Funny Prank: The Disappearing Roadblock...
It is quite stressful having a police officer angry at you, but these unlucky drivers had a good reason to block his way... didn't they?
These Wedding Day Pranks Will Leave You Gasping For Air
Hilarious wedding pranks that are guaranteed to make you laugh.
Hand These Guys a Towel and Get Ready to Laugh!
This hilarious performance involves two young Frenchmen who have just a towel apiece to preserve their modesty. Watch this side-splitting performance.
These Photos Could Only Have Been Taken In China...
China is a unique country full of unique characters, and this picture series proves it!
You've Got to Check Out This Very Funny Animal Compilation
If you love cute animals and are up for a good laugh, then this is the perfect video for you!
These Photos Show That We Live in a Cat's World...
Cats bring us much joy, but they can also be extremely naughty and just spend most of their time doing whatever they like. Here are 15 hilarious photos.
Couples Will Totally Relate to These Funny Cartoons!
Being coupled up can be a wonderful thing, but there's no denying that relationships have their ups and downs. Here are 12 funny cartoons about couples.
Laugh out Loud at These Alternative Animal "Facts"
So-called animal experts have no idea about these facts. They're about to be revealed for the very first time, and rest assured that laughter will ensue!
You're Busted! Hilarious 'Crime' Gags
This compilation is so funny it should be illegal! ).
These Brilliant Comic Strips Reveal Winter's Funny Side...
These comics perfectly portray the funny side of winter, and you'll find that many of the ideas they present are painfully true!
Classic Comedy: The Miracle of Birth!
This sketch puts a very funny light on the process of hospital birth. Thank goodness it isn't like this in real life... or is it?
Kidding in the Rain: A Collection of Rainy-Day Pranks!
A hilarious collection of pranks by just for laughs focusing on rainy days.
Have You Ever Wondered What Animals Look Like Pregnant?
These animals really don't look too pleased with the current state that they're in! Here's what 22 animals look like just before they give birth.
These 14 Photos Were Taken Just a Moment Before Disaster
These perfectly timed photos are hysterically funny!
Hilarious! Here Are 15 Animals Having a Really Bad Day...
Humans aren't the only ones who can have a really bad day every once in a while, and these 15 hilarious photos prove it!
18 Hilariously Weird Signs We Just Had to Share
Warning signs aren’t supposed to be funny, right?
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean Takes the Train
Another great comedy jewel from Rowan Atkinson, this is uproariously funny scene.
Classic Comedy: A Newly Graduated Dentist...
Laugh your socks off with this classic comedy sketch from the Carol Burnett Show. A hilarious scene from the dentist that will have you in stitches.
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown and Her Naughty Situation (Rude)
We come back to our favorite foul mouthed lady in this hilarious sketch.This will definitely get you laughing!
Short Jokes: The Best of Disgruntled Husbands!
These jokes are all about those men who just don't want to be married any more...
Do You Have the Same Problems With YOUR Kids?
Almost as soon as they learn how to speak, your kids learn to speak back. First it's "no", then it's "I don't wanna" and soon enough they're closing the door to their room and listening to their terrible music. Well, at least you can take comfort in
Funny Jokes: And then the Fight Started...
The jokes in this collection all have a common theme - how to start a fight with your spouse!
These Wacky Road Signs Are Worth Stopping For
These bizarre signs will add some humor to your everyday commute.
You'd Think These Hilarious Signs Wouldn't Be Needed!
Whoever decided to put these hilarious signs up was clearly intent on having a laugh.
Some People REALLY Don’t Care About Safety - 15 Funny Pics!
Some of these bizarre work safety fails will give you anxiety!
22 Of the Funniest Language Jokes and Puns
Time for some humor! Enjoy these 22 grammar puns & jokes.
Arrest These Designers! 20 Cases of Design Faux Pas
From ashtrays labelled with 'No Smoking' signs to lemons that can supposedly produce orange juice, you've got to see these 20 hilarious design fails!
Hilarious: The Funniest Memes This Christmas!
These hilarious Christmas memes will make your holiday season that much better.