We are all capable of hurting and upsetting the people around us, especially those we care about. Very often it comes down to how we act with others. What follows are behaviors that will likely push people away from us. Here are 12 toxic behaviors we should all be aware of:
1. Being envious of others
Don't let envy get the best of you! Your journey is different to that of everybody else's and focusing on the achievements of others will stop you from seeing all that you have accomplished. Be mindful that your journey is not a competition with others, and the only person that you are competing against is yourself. Each day strive to be the best that you can be and measure your progress (if you want to) with who you were yesterday.
2. Taking things too personally
Very often, hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives come from taking things too personally. When a person believes that everything that happens around them is a direct assault on them, they can be toxic to be around. Bear in mind that what people say and do to you is more about them than it is about you. People react to you through their perspectives, wounds and experiences. Let go of other people's opinions of you and live your life based on your own intuition and wisdom.
3. Victimizing yourself
Persistent complaining fuels your sense of victimization. When you believe that you are a victim you have no power over your life. Self victimization is a toxic stance that keeps you stuck. Make yourself aware of this toxic behavior and make it a point to stop complaining, refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim. Doing so will help you realize that you are more powerful than you initially thought.
4. Hoarding pain and loss
Letting go is possibly one of life's hardest lessons. Change never comes easy, but oftentimes, letting go is the healthiest path forward. It clears out toxic thoughts from the past and emotionally releases us from the things that had once meant a lot to us. It allows us to move beyond the past and the pain that it has brought. Letting go takes a lot of hard work, but in the end, it is worth it.
5. Obsessive negative thinking
One of the hardest types of people to be around are those who refuse to let go of negativity. Those who obsess in negative thinking ruminate and speak incessantly about the terrible things that could happen and have happened. They dwell on the scorns that they have suffered and the unfairness of life. They stubbornly refuse to see the positive side of life and the positive lessons they can learn. They are locked in a negative mindset.
6. Lack of emotional self-control
You may know of someone who explodes in anger and tears over the smallest problem. If you come to realize that you are overly emotional, losing your cool at every turn, seek outside assistance to help you gain control over your emotions and try to understand what's at the root of your inner angst.
7. Making superficial judgments about others
While it may be easy to judge people by what we can see on the surface, oftentimes, our perception is only based on what the person has shown us, or what they were driven to show based on their inner stress and pain. When another person tries to make you suffer in a small way, it is usually because they suffer deep within themselves. With this in mind, if you can't help them, let them be.
8. Lacking empathy and compassion
Cruelty is one of the most toxic of behaviors as it stems from a lack of empathy, concern or compassion for others. It arises from being unkind or hurtful to others just because they can. If you notice that you are backstabbing and tearing someone else down, stop, dig deep and find compassion in your heart.
9. Cheating and cutting moral corners
Cheating is a choice we make. When we cheat, we succeed in cheating someone out of something that they may have rightfully deserved. Strive to be honest with yourself and with everyone else. Do the right thing. Integrity is the essence of success.
10. Needing constant validation
It is exhausting to be around people who constantly strive for validation from others. Those who get caught up in the need to prove their worth over and over, and hope to win the approval of those around them are unintentionally toxic and draining. Focus on the bigger picture in your life. Focus on your path, what you are learning and how you are helping others to learn too.
11. Hiding your truth
If you are constantly trying to hide from yourself, this can become a truly toxic situation as it enables you to become attached to your false persona. Each of us has a light to shine and missions to accomplish. Celebrate who you are!
12. Being a stubborn perfectionist
We often find ourselves in search for the perfect house, job, friend or lover. Perfection stops us from experiencing life's continual journey, constantly evolving and changing. With a little patience and an open mind, over time, that imperfect house will evolve into a comfortable home, that imperfect job will evolve into a rewarding carrier, and that imperfect friend will evolve into a steady shoulder for us to lean on. Let perfectionism go.