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A change of tactic might be in order...

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. 
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed. 
"An ambulance just drove by." 
A few moments later: "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike." 

A few moments later: "Looks like the Sanders are moving." "Jason is on his skateboard."

A few more moments: "The Coopers are playing in their bedroom."

Startled, his mother and father shot up in bed. Dad cautiously asked: "How do you know they are… playing in their bedroom?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

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