Nearing the end of a hard life, old Ed was surrounded by his loved ones. As he sensed his final moment was approaching, he gathered all his strength and whispered:
"I must tell you my greatest secret."
His family members were all ears, and urged him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," explained Ed.
"Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me..
...‘Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no-one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.'
"So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are...
"And you know what?"
"What?" Whispered the fascinated members of his family.
This Joke Starts With an Elderly Couple At a Travel Agency
Two elderly people are spotted by a travel agent at his agency's window. He promptly invites them in and discusses sending them on a dream vacation...
This Joke Starts With a Bible Study Group Discussing Death
A Bible study group is discussing the possibility of imminent death. Everyone gives predictable answers, except for one man in the group that is...
Joke: The 160 Year Old Man
A man dies in a car accident and goes to heaven. He's amazed to find that there's a huge orchestra and singing angels to greet him when he arrives...
Sometimes, a Prostitute Just Won't Do (Hilarious Joke)
Two old men decide to get some action by visiting a cat-house, but the madam soon determines that her girls will be wasting their time on them...
This Joke Starts With a Man Wanting to Take It With Him
A stingy lawyer simply isn't willing to let go of the money he has earned - even in death. That's why he hatches to plan to prove that you can take it with you.
This Joke Starts With a Guy Laying Half Dead In a Ward
A patient is seriously ill in a hospital bed when it becomes apparent that his meds haven't been administered properly. Things go further downhill...
25 Pictures that Prove Photographers are Crazy!
Some people are willing to go above and beyond what is needed (or safe) in order to take the perfect photo...
Hilarious! Mr. Bean Didn't Expect This at Art Class!
Mr. Bean takes an art class but never did he expect that he'd have to be drawing a naked woman...
Don't Forget Your Hands - Hilarious Gag
People always say not to trust psychics, but I'll bet none of them have ever imagined a situation like this one!
All the Ladies Will Be Playing This Song Again & Again
This song celebrates the beauty and wisdom of older ladies in a hilarious way!
This Prank is Something Quite Magical!
A levitating woman is rudely interrupted by a kid... hilarious!
Hilarious: How Weirs is the English Language?
English is a really funny language, especially when considering how meanings can be changed when punctuation's omitted. Take a look at these 9 hysterical memes.
Hilarious! These Overly Dramatic Cats Deserve an Oscar...
Which of these hilarious cat expressions made you laugh most?
Classic Comedy: The Grammar Nazi
This comedy sketch begins with a standard business meeting, but the boss has a real problem with people's language...
These Hilarious Cartoons Get What Living with Dogs is Like!
The way we are with dogs and the way dogs are with us, is something only dog owners really get. If you're a dog owner these comics will make you laugh a lot!
Funnies: The Differences Between Men and Women
These images will show you clearly why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Take a look at these amusing images for a good laugh.
How Did This Japanese Woman Teach Her Dog to Whisper?
You've probably heard dogs howl, bark, and growl, but have you ever seen a dog do this?
Funny Prank: The Disappearing Roadblock...
It is quite stressful having a police officer angry at you, but these unlucky drivers had a good reason to block his way... didn't they?
Collection - Design Fails & Construction Mistakes
An enormous collection of terrible design and construction mistakes.
When Funny Signs Meet Epic Fails, Hilarity Ensues...
These funny signs, tags, and maps show just how much the people responsible for creating them had failed, and it's absolutely hilarious!
These Cheesy Pickup Lines Are Bound to Make You Cringe!
Here's a selection of 40 of the cheesiest pickup lines we've ever heard that are bound to make you cringe!
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
Hilarious: Ahhhm... That's NOT What I Ordered...
These are some serious shopping fails. I don't know whether to play the customers or the companies. So let's just laugh at both!
Watch Simon's Cat Deal With a Very Friendly Doggie
In this episode of Simon's Cat, the cat must contend with an enthusiastic and friendly dog.
Comedy Classics: Christmas Shopping With Mr. Bean
This Christmas, let’s go shopping with Mr. Bean.
20 Terrible Translations That'll Make You Laugh!
Check out these 20 outrageously terrible translations that will make you laugh your head off!
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
Hilarious: When It's Just Not Your Day...
These photos show spectacularly awful things that can happen to anyone. Let’s hope there was someone to give them a big hug afterwards.
Who Knew These Famous Figures Were so Cheeky and Funny?
The wittiest, most devastating responses in history. Warning! These are guaranteed to make you laugh!
15 Stupendously Meaningless Road Signs That Really Exist
Signs are meant to be visual aids, reminders that also serve as a guide. If you ever drove by these incredible road signs, would you know what to do? I wouldn't have a clue.
Meanwhile in Australia, Some Weird Things are Happening...
Australia is a fascinating and weird place.
The 30 Craziest State Laws Are Just Too Funny For Words!
Check out 30 of the craziest laws that are still in effect in the US today!
These Child Letters to God are Both Touching and Hilarious
The letters these kids write are astounding.
Funny: These Kids' Christmas Letters Will Make You Chuckle!
Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are extremely forthright when it comes to making requests. Here are some funny and cute Santa letters from kids.
Three Sly Phone Scams That Could Cost You Big Time...
Phone scams are nothing new, but the way they are being executed now could catch you out when you least expect it. Here's what to look out for!
Pets That Never Fail to Make Us Laugh & Brighten Our Day
Pets always have a way of making us laugh. Take a look at this hilarious clip that will surely brighten your day.
No Object is Safe From These Grumpy Cats!
No object is safe from these cats! In this hilarious video, you'll see cats attacking vacuum attachments, pushing things off tables, and much more!
Interior Design Fails: You Won't Believe This!
Some people have to live with really absurd home designs that make no sense. Take a look.
Furry Scary: When Pets Left Their Owners Spooked!
Pets are adorable and make our lives better. Sometimes, though, they scare the living daylights out of us.
This Stand-Up Routine is as Funny as They Come!
This has got to be one of the funniest stand up routines of all time by Kevin Bridges. He may have a confusing accent, but he's a straight shooter and no doubt about it - a very funny man.
Classic Comedy: Sure, I Can Play the Concerto!
In this classic skit, world famous conductor Andre Previn attempts to get Eric Morecambe to play Grieg's Piano Concerto. How will they get on?
These Funny Quotes Will Inspire You With a Smile
Let these humorous quotes about life put a smile on your face.
These Funny ‘Science Facts’ Will Leave You Confused
It’s not always that science makes us laugh, but these intentionally wrong science facts will give you a good chuckle.
Hilarious: Nice People Are Easily Duped!
A collection of hilarious pranks relying on the kindness of good samaritans who are about to go through some bizarre experiences...
It’s Impossible NOT to Laugh at These 15 Hilarious Signs
It’s impossible NOT to laugh at these sidesplitting signs!
Hilarious: You'll Only See THIS in Scotland!
Every country has its own quirks and oddities, Scotland may be one of the weirdest countries in Europe, and we have photographic proof!
These Witty Rejoinders Just Gave Me a Sardonic Smile
These zingers come from the mischievous mouths of history's most loved celebrities. Prepare to laugh.