Nearing the end, old Ed is surrounded by his loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, ''I must tell you my greatest secret.''
His family members are all ears, and urge him to go on.
So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?''
''What?'' Whisper the fascinated members of his family.
''I'm not even thirsty!''