The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
This Joke Begins With a Wandering Eye...
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Joke: The Old Golf Partner
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These Hilarious Signs Made Me Crack Right Up!
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This Demonstration Went Really Wrong. LOL.
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Hilarious: If You're Going to Insult, Do It With Style...
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This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
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This Stand-Up Routine is as Funny as They Come!
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Hilarious: Old Ladies Know How to Ask the Best Questions...
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These Terrific Signs Make Everyone Burst Out Laughing!
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20 Clever Words for Clever People To Laugh Over...
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The Most Outrageously Hilarious Signs You’ll See
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