The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
Joke: The Fortune Teller and the Bad News
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Joke: Mom and Dad's New Wife
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Have You Heard This Joke? The Special Gift
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Joke: It's Difficult to Fulfill a Dying Wish Sometimes
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Joke: Putting Your Private Part Right Is Gonna Cost
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Joke: Come On, Honey...
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These Adorable Yet Funny Snapchats of Dogs Are a Must-See!
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Funny Signs Galore - We Can’t Stop Laughing!
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These Illustrated Pet Confessions Just Got Me Laughing
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Funny Prank: The Disappearing Roadblock...
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Hilarious: Some Guys REALLY Think Outside the Box...
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These Silly Photos Remind Us of the Funny Side of Christmas!
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some funny sayings with a something for everyone.
20 Of The Funniest Spelling Mistakes You've Ever Seen
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Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2022: 16 Silly Winning Pics
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Are You Old? You'll Know It If...
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20 Hilarious Signs That'll Have You Howling with Laughter
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Classic Comedy: The Miracle of Birth!
This sketch puts a very funny light on the process of hospital birth. Thank goodness it isn't like this in real life... or is it?
HILARIOUS: Some People Have Unusual Solutions
Ingenious solutions to ordinary problems that will make you laugh.
Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
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Collection - Design Fails & Construction Mistakes
An enormous collection of terrible design and construction mistakes.
Hilarious: If You Love English You'll Love These Puns!
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Hilariously Adorable: Cutest Babies Fighting With Siblings
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Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
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These Dogs Clearly Overestimated Their Physical Abilities...
Watch the hilarious video collection of dogs who fail at being dogs.
Cats Have An Innate Ability to Be Really Naughty..
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Puns Make Me Smile, and These Made Me Laugh!
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14 Cat Fails That Definitely Won't Fail to Make You Laugh
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These Veterinarian Signs Made Me Laugh Out Loud!
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Simon's Cat in: Double Trouble!
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These Hilarious Cartoons Get What Living with Dogs is Like!
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These Fortune Cookies Will Make You Howl With Laughter
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The Ridiculous Shenanigans of Laurel and Hardy
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These Comics Prove a Single Panel Can Deliver Big Laughs
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Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
These 'Genius' Repairs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud!
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Laugh out Loud at These Alternative Animal "Facts"
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These Uproarious Cartoons Make Age a Hilarious Affair...
These comics show that the best way to deal with aging is to have good old laugh it!
Classic Comedy: About the Importance of Stuff
One of the funniest and smartest comedy routines in history!