The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
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Joke: It's Difficult to Fulfill a Dying Wish Sometimes
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Classic Comedy: How NOT to Pick Up Women
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Classic Comedy: Lucy and the Chocolate Factory
One of the most famous, and funniest, Lucy moments of all time!
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Hilarious: 16 Times People Didn't Pay Attention...
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Here Are 14 of the World's Funniest Bumper Stickers
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Hilarious: Grammar is a Funny Subject!
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Hilarious: This Just May Be Why Building Codes Exist...
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Hilarious: You've Got a Lot of Explaining to Do, Mister!
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Hilarious: The Funniest Restaurant Names!
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