The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
Have You Heard This Joke? The Special Gift
A man gets into a wreck and severely burns his face. His wife is very generous and gives him a skin graft. Little does he know the pleasure she gets out of it..
Joke: The Old Golf Partner
When a husband and wife are discussing golf, the husband is surprised at her suggestion of a golfing buddy for him. But he soon realizes she has a point...
Joke: Putting Your Private Part Right Is Gonna Cost
When a doctor is tasked with fixing a rabbi's mangled manhood, he explains that there's a variation in price depending on the size...
Joke: Doctor, What Are You Going to Do With My Husband?
A man's penis just starts to grow with no end to the growth in sight. He soon resorts to seeking out a urologist...
Joke: A Thieving Old Lady Finds Herself Facing a Judge
An old lady finds herself in front of a judge after stealing a can of peaches. He immediately hands down a sentence for her wicked deed...
No Matter My Age, a Funny Cartoon is a Funny Cartoon
These cartoons will make you laugh at any age.
COMEDY COLLECTION: Giggle at Mr. Bean's Funniest Antics
Mr. bean (Sir Rowan Atkinson) is one of comedy’s most memorable characters. Get your funny bone ready for some serious tickling, as we show you 18 of Mr. Bean's funniest skits ever.
Wives of Rival Politicians Fight on the Carol Burnett Show
This clip from the Carol Burnett show follows the wives of two rival politicians, who are friends in one minute and enemies the next!
These 15 Signs Are Beyond Funny!
Are you ready for your daily dose of laughs? We really hope you are, as this collection of 15 hilarious signs is beyond funny!
16 Awesomely Canadian Things You’ve Got to Love
Canada truly is a special place and these unique pictures perfectly sum up what’s life like there.
Classic Comedy: About the Importance of Stuff
One of the funniest and smartest comedy routines in history!
Hilarious Comedy: Don't Invite Mr. Bean to a Wedding...
Why on Earth did anyone think to invite Mr. Bean to the wedding? Well, frankly, I'm glad they did.
These Wacky Road Signs Are Worth Stopping For
These bizarre signs will add some humor to your everyday commute.
HILARIOUS: The Office Can Be a Funny Place!
Four short and funny jokes about office and business situations!
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean Takes the Train
Another great comedy jewel from Rowan Atkinson, this is uproariously funny scene.
These Cartoons Prove That with Great Age Comes Great Humor
Laughter is the best way to deal with all the negatives that comes with old age. Therefore, we have compiled 11 funny senior cartoons for your amusement.
22 Of the Funniest Language Jokes and Puns
Time for some humor! Enjoy these 22 grammar puns & jokes.
20 Hilarious Comics Filled With Wit, Fun, and Humor!
These hilarious comic strips by legendary cartoonist Mark Parisi are guaranteed to make you chuckle.
How the Heck Did They End Up Writing THAT?
Here's a fresh dose of hilarious translation fails from different countries and languages!
Every Species Has Its Comedians...
There's nothing better than animals to make us smile and laugh!
Funny: Best of Paranormal Pranks!
Get prepared to meet vampires, monsters and scary things as you laugh out loud!
Hilarious: The Marriage Dictionary!
Have you been through the marriage dictionary yet? I think you'll find that the definitions it contains are much different to the ones in a regular dictionary.
Classic Comedy: A Tennis Player's Breakfast
This sketch is all about how tennis players act on the court - and at breakfast!
When This Young Comedian Steps on Stage, No One is Safe!
Ned Woodman, a 9-year-old comedian, may look cute, but when he steps on to the stage, all this changes. Check him out here!
These Genius Signs Should Be Shared Everywhere
Check out these funny, clever, and helpful signs that will bring an instant smile to your face.
16 Parenthood Comics That’ll Make You Roll In the Aisles
These witty comics show the funny side of having a family and parenting
16 of the FUNNIEST Warning Signs We've Ever Seen!
These bizarre disclaimers would make you laugh out loud.
Hilarious: 15 Signs You Love Coffee Just a Bit Too Much
This is how you can tell if you don't just like coffee, but love it!
Watch Simon's Cat Deal With a Very Friendly Doggie
In this episode of Simon's Cat, the cat must contend with an enthusiastic and friendly dog.
South America is a One-of-a-Kind Place: 17 Hilarious Pics!
South America is a one-of-a-kind place!
20 Funny Quotes for All the Introverts Out There
Do you identify yourself as an introvert? Then you will relate to these hilarious quotes.
These Witty Responses to Public Notices are Hilarious
Check out this collection of 15 petty notices along with their extremely hilarious responses!
You've Got to Check Out This Very Funny Animal Compilation
If you love cute animals and are up for a good laugh, then this is the perfect video for you!
These Funny Photos Show Victorian Era in a Different Light!
Most images we see from the early days of photography are austere and often bleak. Yet these photographs show the reality. People were cheeky, funny and happy!
The Most Outrageously Hilarious Signs You’ll See
You know what time it is? It’s time for some funny signs!
These Signboards Have the Worst Spelling Mistakes
These have to be some of the most unfortunate typos ever.
These Hotel Goofs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Hotels are usually pretty nice, but as you're about to see, you will sometimes come across some hilarious bloopers.
Here Are Some Funny New Year's Quotes to Make You Laugh
We want you to welcome 2023 with laughter. So, here are some hilarious News Year quotes for you.
Hilarious: The Gunslinger and the Evil Voice! (Rude Humor)
This western is so funny and breaks all conventions. Only watch if you don't mind foul language!
Hilarious: Some of the Funniest Shop Names I've Seen!
These restaurants are worth visiting just for their hilarious names!
These Funny Signs Made Me Holler!
Feeling sad or bored? After reading these 12 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have those two problems on your hands.
These Signs Are Way Too Funny!
You know what time it is? It’s time for some hilariously funny sign!
Hilarious: You'll Only See THIS in Scotland!
Every country has its own quirks and oddities, Scotland may be one of the weirdest countries in Europe, and we have photographic proof!
These Veterinarian Signs Made Me Laugh Out Loud!
Veterinarians have the most hilarious ways of looking at the crazy moments in your pets life and these signs are proof of that!
These Dry-humored Comic Strips Are Utterly Brilliant
If you've never seen Pie Comic by John McNamee before, then you need to take a look at this post. His comic strips are hilarious!
If These Cartoons Don't Brighten Your Day, Nothing Will!
Lonnie Easterling has been drawing hilarious "Spud Comics" for nearly a decade now. Here are twenty of our favorite ones.