A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa.
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "You know what? Take the duck."
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
This Hilarious Sign is Gaining Notoriety Around the World...
The Indian Hills Community Center sign in Colorado, USA, has gained a worldwide following thanks to the hilarious puns it displays. Here are 30 of them.
Cheeky, Funny, Unapologetic Children - 20 Pics
Here are 20 funny test answers, all written by children who just couldn't be bothered.
Joke: When the Evangelicals Are On TV
When grandma and grandpa are watching the evangelical preacher on the TV, they try to heal themselves of their ills by touching it. It doesn't go so well...
These One Liners Will Put a Smile on Your Face, Guaranteed!
A collection of crazy and unexpectedly hilarious jokes.
These Restaurant Names Are Simply Too Funny!
These restaurants will grab you attention for all the wrong reasons! We can't stop laughing!
20 Clever Words for Clever People To Laugh Over...
Have you heard of these words? No?? How come?
Hilarious: 15 Who Parked Terribly and Found Karma
Some people just don't know how to park a care, and some are just incredibly selfish. Here are the worst offenders.
18 Hilariously Weird Signs We Just Had to Share
Warning signs aren’t supposed to be funny, right?
These Hilarious Cartoons are All About Senior Life
A huge collection of funny senior cartoons that reveal all about how life changes us as we grow older. Get ready to laugh your heart out!
Hilarious! Meet the World's Strongest Teenage Girl
If you're looking for something to brighten up your day, then this brilliant prank from the Just For Laughs group is just what you need!
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
This is Definitely the Funniest Song About Flight Discounts!
If something looks too good to be true, it usually is. So these ladies decided to write a hilarious song to warn us all!
Seniors Win: Teaching Some Drivers a Valuable Lesson!
You better learn some patience with dealing with these elders!
You'll Never Guess How THIS Video Ends...
This hilarious short film won countless awards and endless praise.
Hilarious: I Swear This Box Just Grew On Its Own!
These people are either failing their vision or their sanity!
Hilarious: This Week's Funniest Cartoons!
Our selection for this week's hilarious comics, there's a lot to smile and giggle about on this page. So if you need a moment to smile, or indeed some solid minutes - we've got you covered.
Australia, the Unpredictable - 21 Sidesplitting Photos!
As these hilarious pictures prove, there's an equal number of pleasant surprises are terrifying encounters in Australia. You just never know what to expect...
Hilarious: These 20 Comic Strips Will Make You Chuckle
These comic strips created by Andres Colmenares also known as Wawawiwa comics, are too awesome to describe! Click here to check them out!
Hilarious: These Signs Are as Funny as It Gets!
From clever puns to unintentionally hilarious signs, this epic collection of 16 funny signs has it all!
Hilarious! 16 Photos of Cops Having a Good Time...
These 16 photos prove that police officers can have a cracking sense of humor!
These Are the Most Ridiculous Solutions I Have Ever Seen
How to solve your problems in the worst way...
18 Terrible Sign Designs That Will Have You Bust a Gut
Feeling down? Well, after reading these 18 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have that problem on your hands...
Babbling Babies & Playful Animals = Laughter Unlimited
This hilariously cute video will save your boring day!
Want to See Something Funny? This Prank is Hilarious
This prank begins with a window cleaner taking off some clothes...
This Demonstration Went Really Wrong. LOL.
These people just didn't know their own strength!
Hilarious Beach Photos That Make You Roar With Laughter!
The photos in this collection prove that one can stumble upon some really funny characters and things on the beach
These Uproarious Cartoons Make Age a Hilarious Affair...
These comics show that the best way to deal with aging is to have good old laugh it!
Hilarious: Some Guys REALLY Think Outside the Box...
Here are some of my favorite examples of male creativity at work.
Hilarious: What if Babies Could Express Their Thoughts?
This collection of the funniest photos of cute babies is here to make you laugh! See for yourself and if you find yourself smiling then share it with your friends.
20 Hilarious Supermarket Mistakes You've Got to See!
I used to think shopping was boring, until I started noticing these hilarious mistakes all over the place. Here are 20 of the funniest fails I've seen.
This is What Happens When You Try and Fix it Yourself!
Have you ever tried fixing something yourself and failed miserably? Then you're going to love these photos...
No Matter My Age, a Funny Cartoon is a Funny Cartoon
These cartoons will make you laugh at any age.
Funny Stand Up: Can't Argue With Wife Post Surgery!
Jim Gaffigan in a funny stand up video about arguing with his wife after her brain surgery.
Hilarious: Why You DON'T Send a Man to the Grocery Store
Sending a man grocery shopping - what could possibly go wrong?
Lost in Translation: 15 Hilarious Language Fails
When translations from foreign languages into English go wrong, apart from being almost incomprehensible, the results are often outrageously hilarious!
Classic Comedy: The Miracle of Birth!
This sketch puts a very funny light on the process of hospital birth. Thank goodness it isn't like this in real life... or is it?
Hilarious: When Cakes Go Wrong!
These 20 hilarious cakes are just not what the customers were asking for!
Hilarious! This Is How Old Men Strip a Kitchen
The Swedes are known for some great cooking. But it seems it's not the men who deserve the praise. This is what they really get up to in the kitchen!
The Most Embarrassing Things to Happen on Camera...
A funny compilation of people who are having their day ruined by unexpected events.
Funny Photos: You Had One Job!
These ridiculously funny work fail pictures will have you laughing all day.