1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
BUT I got canned. I just couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
BUT I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a tailor,
BUT I wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working at Starbucks,
BUT I had to quit because I got tired of the same old grind.
5. Then, I tried being a chef - I figured it would add spice to my life,
BUT I just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I tried working in a deli,
BUT any way I sliced it, I just couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was as a musician,
BUT I eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied for a long time to become a doctor,
BUT I didn't have any patience.
9. Next up was a job in a shoe factory - I tried hard,
BUT I just didn't fit in.
10. After that, I became a fisherman,
BUT I discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Next, I managed to get a job at a pool maintenance company,
BUT the work was too draining.
12. So after that I got a job at a workout center,
BUT they said I wasn't fit for the job...
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian,
BUT I realized there was no future in it...
14. My last job was when I tried working in a muffler factory,
BUT that was too exhausting.
So, I tried retirement!
AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!