A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair while tying the girl to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants to sleep with you, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!" |
Joke: Wedding Decisions
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
Joke: She Still Likes to Have a Drink
An old lady is celebrating her 80th birthday aboard a cruise ship. The bartender buys her a drink, and she proceeds to have a few...
Joke: The Terrible Snoring
The guys decided to go on a camping trip, only there was one big problem...
Joke: Impossible Demands
A man notices a woman sitting alone at a table in his favorite restaurant. He decides to send her a bottle of expensive Merlot...
Joke: The Odd Driver
When a cop pulls over a man for speeding, little does he know what he's in for...
Hilarious: What Would Our Pets Write In Their Diary?
We all know there are major differences between dogs and cats, but it was only after we found their secret diaries that we really understood how deep a difference it is...
Animals Bring So Much Joy Into Our Lives - & Make Us Laugh
There's no doubt that animals bring great joy to many people, not least by making them laugh. Take a look at these 15 funny animals doing their thing.
You've Got to Check Out This Very Funny Animal Compilation
If you love cute animals and are up for a good laugh, then this is the perfect video for you!
These Doormats Are Just Hilarious (16 Pics)
Amuse your guests with these ridiculously creative door mats.
Hilarious! Mr. Bean Didn't Expect This at Art Class!
Mr. Bean takes an art class but never did he expect that he'd have to be drawing a naked woman...
These Animal Pick Up Lines Are a Hoot!
When it comes to pick up lines, the animal world provides some of the funniest! This collection of 70 animal pick up lines is gonna make you roar with laughter.
Hilarious: You've Got a Lot of Explaining to Do, Mister!
This may be the most brilliant, funniest prank I've ever seen.
Nostalgic Comedy: Did Bert Forget Their Anniversary?
In this episode Molly thinks Bert forgot their anniversary.
Just for Laughs: Hilarious Coffee Pranks and Gags
Check out this hilarious collection of coffee pranks by “Just for Laughs”.
Do You Have the Same Problems With YOUR Kids?
Almost as soon as they learn how to speak, your kids learn to speak back. First it's "no", then it's "I don't wanna" and soon enough they're closing the door to their room and listening to their terrible music. Well, at least you can take comfort in
If You've Got a Sense of Humor, You'll Love These Liners!
Which of these short jokes will crack you up?
These Grammar Jokes Are a Silly & Funny Play On Words!
If you're one to titter at a good grammar joke, then you'll absolutely love the 14 that you can find in this post.
Classic Comedy: A Newly Graduated Dentist...
Laugh your socks off with this classic comedy sketch from the Carol Burnett Show. A hilarious scene from the dentist that will have you in stitches.
WARNING: These Signs Will Make You Howl with Laughter
Here, we present to you the best and funniest signs we've seen so far this year, enjoy!
Laugh Until You Howl: The WILDEST Animal Pranks
Have a roaring time with these howlarious wild animal pranks by Just for Laughs.
Laugh Until You Cry with Mr. Bean's Ridiculous Antics
Enjoy 600 seconds of the most hilarious Mr. Bean moments that will leave you in stitches.
Hilarious: I Can't Believe People Can Really Carry This Much
These guys have taken overload to the next level. How on earth can they carry this much?
The Most Outrageously Hilarious Signs You’ll See
You know what time it is? It’s time for some funny signs!
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
Rowan Atkinson Gives a Most Hilarious Sermon!
Rowan Atkinson, the famous comedian, gives a sermon the likes of which you've never heard...
HILARIOUS: These Pets are Real Drama Queens!
Just like humans, some pets throw tantrums when they want attention. Just look at these 12 hilarious four-legged drama queens.
These Funny One-Liners Are Utterly Hilarious
These monsters are out to make you giggle. They've got no less than 20 one-liners to share with you, and we bet you'll be in fits of laughter in no time.
These Pics Were Taken Just One Second Before "Disaster"
These hilarious photos were taken a split second before “disaster” struck.
Who Knew Church Signs could be This Funny?
Churches seem to have found that addressing dwindling congregations can be achieved with a great sense of humor. Here are 14 hysterically funny US church signs.
These Guys Have Some WEIRD Choices in Christmas Sweaters!
Some people just have bizarre tastes when it comes to Christmas sweaters.
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
These Cheesy Pickup Lines Are Bound to Make You Cringe!
Here's a selection of 40 of the cheesiest pickup lines we've ever heard that are bound to make you cringe!
Stand-up Comedy: What Men Really Think of Their Marriage
Marriage is certainly a blessing we all appreciate. But that doesn't mean we can't have a good laugh about it! This portrayal is cynical, but deadly funny!
Read Pensioner's Priceless Response After Rejected by Army
A pensioner tries to join the army but gets rejected. He believes that pensioners make better soldiers than 18-year-olds, and his reasons will crack you up!
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
Hilarious: Mother Versus Father, Who Does it Better?
When it comes to parenting, who does it better, mothers or fathers?
Newspaper Headlines Can Sometimes Be Ridiculously Funny
Sometimes newspaper headlines are just so bizarre that you are left scratching your head at what exactly happened.
These One Frame Comics Are Guaranteed To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, a single panel of a comic strip can contain so much wit and humor, and these one frame cartoons certainly prove it!
Puns Make Me Smile, and These Made Me Laugh!
Some of these puns are pretty cheesy, but they'll make you feel grate!
Hilarious: English is a Seriously ODD Language...
If you thought English is a clear-cut and tidy language, you better read this.
When Parking Signs Get a Sense of Humor! (15 Pics)
Who knew no parking signs could make us laugh too?