A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair while tying the girl to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants to sleep with you, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!" |
This Joke Starts With a Retiree Entering a Pharmacy
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Joke: The Lie-Sniffing Robot
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Joke: The Odd Driver
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Joke: She Still Likes to Have a Drink
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Joke: Did He Forget Her Birthday?
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Never Make Fun of an Old Man, Because You Never Know...
This old man teaches young punks what it is to have experience! A great prank.
HILARIOUS: The Office Can Be a Funny Place!
Four short and funny jokes about office and business situations!
When Birds Misbehave, the Results Are Utterly Hilarious!
If you think that only dogs and cats are capable of being total jerks, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
Winter Can Be CRAZY Sometimes - 16 Bizarre Pics
These chilly pictures show just how crazy and harsh winter can be.
Hilariously Funny DIY Fixes (16 Pics)
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Need a smile? Try this collection of goofy, silly and hilarious cartoons!
20 Hysterical Photos Taken in the Perfect Time and Place!
All 20 of the photos we’re about to show were taken just in time to create the most hilarious effect imaginable!
If I Can’t Hug Them, Then Why Are These Animals SO CUTE?
These are the last animals you’d think of as ‘cute,’ yet here they are, looking as silly and precious as our beloved pets.
No Object is Safe From These Grumpy Cats!
No object is safe from these cats! In this hilarious video, you'll see cats attacking vacuum attachments, pushing things off tables, and much more!
Why Does This Man Pay to Get His Face Slapped?
This man pays to get his face slapped, why does he do it? Because it's a very funny prank!
Hilarious: The Young vs. The Old on a Date!
Dating when you're 20 versus when you're middle-aged is similar, but also completely different...
Hilarious! Mr Bean Wreaks Havoc at the School Open Day
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Hilarious! These Kids Should Have Never Been Left Alone
What do your grandchildren get up to when they are left alone? Find out here!
These Quirky Winter Quotes Will Help Warm Your Frosty Days
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Comedy Gold: Do Not Mess With Buster Keaton!
Enjoy this rib-tickling sketch by the king of comedy, Buster Keaton.
Funnies: The Differences Between Men and Women
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These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
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The Hilarious Antics of These Birds Will Make You Chuckle
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Funny Jokes: And then the Fight Started...
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This Hilarious Sign is Gaining Notoriety Around the World...
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These Funny Photos Show Victorian Era in a Different Light!
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Hilarious Fitness Pranks That Will Leave You in Stitches!
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These Architects Should Really Rethink Their Career Choice
Somebody messed up big time. You’ll laugh your head off seeing how wrong construction can go with these hilarious photos.
Every Species Has Its Comedians...
There's nothing better than animals to make us smile and laugh!
This Stand-Up Routine is as Funny as They Come!
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This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
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