A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair while tying the girl to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants to sleep with you, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!" |
Joke: She Still Likes to Have a Drink
An old lady is celebrating her 80th birthday aboard a cruise ship. The bartender buys her a drink, and she proceeds to have a few...
Joke: The Lie-Sniffing Robot
When you've got a robot that dishes out slaps every time someone lies, maybe it's sometimes best not even to know the truth at all!
Tennis Comedy: These Interruptions Stole the Show!
These players thought they would only have to deal with their match, but the circumstances ended up getting real funny!
Hilarious: Who Needs a Truck When You Can Have a Motorcycle
Although motorcycles were designed to transport a couple of people, some around the world have found more... innovative (and hilarious) ways of using them.
This Christmas, Spend Some Laughs with Mr. Bean
Enjoy your Christmas with this hilarious Mr. Bean episode.
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown's Having a VERY Weird Day...
Mrs. Brown will give you a big grin with another hilarious scene.
If I Can’t Hug Them, Then Why Are These Animals SO CUTE?
These are the last animals you’d think of as ‘cute,’ yet here they are, looking as silly and precious as our beloved pets.
Hilarious: These Cheesy Puns Will Make You Giggle!
These cheesy puns will have your family and friends cringing first, and tittering with laughter second. Enjoy there 20 cheesy puns that are made to share.
HILARIOUS: Are These People Fools or Geniuses?
Some people have a really creative way of fixing a problem, and I do mean REALLY creative...
Who Said God Isn't Funny? These Church Signs are Hilarious!
Although churches are houses of worship, that doesn't mean to say that they can't have a sense of humor! These amazing signs are evidence of that.
Why Men Should NOT Be Allowed in the Kitchen!
A perfect example of why some men are useless in the kitchen
These Coffee Shop Customers Couldn't Believe Their Eyes...
This gag is going to make you wonder: Why aren't they gagging??
Add Humor to Your Bathroom With These Crazy Curtains
Add a touch of humor to your bathroom with these crazy shower curtains.
The 30 Craziest State Laws Are Just Too Funny For Words!
Check out 30 of the craziest laws that are still in effect in the US today!
These Driving Fails Will Have You in Fits
It's a wonder how these folks ever got their driving licenses, such is the ridiculousness of their actions. Here are 25 utterly hilarious driving fails.
These Birds Have Gone Crazy! Somebody Stop Them!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of the funniest bird videos.
22 Hilarious Reasons That'll Make You Love Cats More!
These hilarious photos of cats show them breaking the laws of physics.
These Cat Tweets Will Give You Plenty to Laugh About!
Cats have been providing us with entertainment for as long as we have co-existed, and these cat tweets prove they’re still giving us plenty to laugh about!
Watch Out! Cats Have Taken Over Supermarkets Everywhere!
These sweet and funny pictures of cats in supermarkets will warm your heart.
HILARIOUS: The World’s Absolute Worst Bathroom Designs
Hilarious pictures of bad bathroom designs
18 Hilariously Weird Signs We Just Had to Share
Warning signs aren’t supposed to be funny, right?
12 Hilarious Photos of Dogs Letting Cats Boss Them Around
It's just so funny to watch cats and dogs interact with each other, especially when dogs are being bossed around by cats! See for yourself in these hilarious photos
The Classic Comedy of Rowan Atkinson: A Full Performance!
The comedy of Rowan Atkinson like you've never seen him before - a full performance!
Hilarious: Nice People Are Easily Duped!
A collection of hilarious pranks relying on the kindness of good samaritans who are about to go through some bizarre experiences...
Do You Have the Same Problems With YOUR Kids?
Almost as soon as they learn how to speak, your kids learn to speak back. First it's "no", then it's "I don't wanna" and soon enough they're closing the door to their room and listening to their terrible music. Well, at least you can take comfort in
These Photos Show That We Live in a Cat's World...
Cats bring us much joy, but they can also be extremely naughty and just spend most of their time doing whatever they like. Here are 15 hilarious photos.
You Won't Believe What This Little Old Lady Gets Up To...
This hilarious prank involves a sweet old lady pretending to deal drugs in large quantities in a public park...
Caution! These Ridiculous Signs Will Make You Laugh!
Many caution signs can be redundant or plain weird. Here are 25 such caution signs that will have you either laughing or scratching you head
20 Hilarious Supermarket Mistakes You've Got to See!
I used to think shopping was boring, until I started noticing these hilarious mistakes all over the place. Here are 20 of the funniest fails I've seen.
20 Ho, Ho, Hilarious Christmas Quotes to Make You Chuckle
Get ready to welcome the holidays with these hilarious Christmas quotes.
These Funny Cartoons Are Guaranteed to Make You Smile
Enjoy this humorous collection of single-panel comics by Harry Bliss.
When Kid Photos Don't Come Out the Way You Hoped...
Click to see the outcome of kids who did not want to have their photos taken.
These Fortune Cookies Will Make You Howl With Laughter
Here you’ll find a selection of some of the funniest messages to ever be found inside fortune cookies.
Hilarious: This Week's Funniest Cartoons!
Our selection for this week's hilarious comics, there's a lot to smile and giggle about on this page. So if you need a moment to smile, or indeed some solid minutes - we've got you covered.
Hilarious Signs: This Ice Cream Shop Cracked Me Up!
This collection of 12 hilarious signs will give you a taste of an excellent sense of humor!
Who Knew These Famous Figures Were so Cheeky and Funny?
The wittiest, most devastating responses in history. Warning! These are guaranteed to make you laugh!
22 Hilarious Observations Made in Different Countries
22 hilarious photos that show that some stereotypes about certain places do have a little bit of truth to them. Rude to some, amusing to others, we present to you our selection of best “Meanwhile, in…” photos.
This Simon's Cat Collection is All You Need for Smile Today!
Created by Simon Tofield in 2008, Simon's Cat is on a constant mission to get fed. Enjoy this hilarious collection of 16 of his most famous escapades.
20 Not-So-Scary Horror-Themed Comics That Had Us Chuckling
Enjoy these hilarious one-frame comics by Mark Parisi that depict horror movies in parallel universes.
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.