One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
For more funny jokes scroll below.
Cheeky Joke: Meeting the Parents
A biker just found himself the perfect Harley with a tube of Vaseline thrown in to protect it from the rain.Things start to go awry at his girlfriend's house...
These Dry-humored Comic Strips Are Utterly Brilliant
If you've never seen Pie Comic by John McNamee before, then you need to take a look at this post. His comic strips are hilarious!
These Jokes May Be Dumb, But They'll Still Make You Laugh!
Here is a collection of jokes that are so dumb they're actually quite funny.
These Punny Opposites Are Absolutely Hilarious!
If silly puns are your cup of tea, then we've got one heck of a treat in store for you!
These Hilarious Grammar Jokes are a Verbal Delight!
Do you enjoy a good pun? Somehow, they become even funnier when they're related to grammar. Here are 17 hilarious grammar jokes for you to enjoy.
Hilarious: If You're Going to Insult, Do It With Style...
you did not want to get on Shakespeare's bad side, for you might get one of these...
18 Funny Construction Bloopers That are Too Hard to Ignore
Take a look at some truly absurd and outrageous construction fails that will make you laugh out loud.
Funny Prank: The Disappearing Roadblock...
It is quite stressful having a police officer angry at you, but these unlucky drivers had a good reason to block his way... didn't they?
Seniors Win: Teaching Some Drivers a Valuable Lesson!
You better learn some patience with dealing with these elders!
This Comedian's One Liners Always Have Me in Stitches
This hilarious comedian is a champion of the old-fashioned art of the quick-fire one liner. The laughs keep coming thick and fast!
Classic Comedy: Lucy and the Chocolate Factory
One of the most famous, and funniest, Lucy moments of all time!
Classic Comedy: That's Not How You Use Glue, Mrs. Brown!
Mrs. Brown is one of the funniest characters to ever grace the television screen, and when she makes a sticky mistake, you won't stop laughing.
Hilarious: Best of Terrible Strangers Pranks!
This prank compilation focuses on 'terrible people' and the weird things they do before you discover it's a prank!
18 Funny Animal Pics That'll Give You Some Cheer!
Here is a collection of some adorably funny animals being silly and cute at the same time.
Hilarious: 15 Who Parked Terribly and Found Karma
Some people just don't know how to park a care, and some are just incredibly selfish. Here are the worst offenders.
This Video is Proof Farm Animals Are Just As Funny As Pets
Who said dogs and cats are the best or even cutest animal comedians? Definitely not these farm animals, each one funnier than the last!
Enjoy a Hilarious Dose of Animal Pranks!
Enjoy a hilarious compilation of the best animal pranks by Just for Laughs
We All Make These Mistakes as Parents... Hilarious!
When situations like this happen, we cannot help but giggle. Take a look at these hilarious parenting fails.
These People Practice Professional Insanity. Hilarious.
A hilarious compilation of especially creative gags!
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
Hilarious! Buying a Bed Takes Some Thought...(RUDE)
When an attractive customer needs convincing about a certain bed, the salesman can't believe his luck!
These Fortune Cookies Will Make You Howl With Laughter
Here you’ll find a selection of some of the funniest messages to ever be found inside fortune cookies.
These Funny Quotes Will Inspire You With a Smile
Let these humorous quotes about life put a smile on your face.
These Pics Were Taken Just One Second Before "Disaster"
These hilarious photos were taken a split second before “disaster” struck.
20 Not-So-Scary Horror-Themed Comics That Had Us Chuckling
Enjoy these hilarious one-frame comics by Mark Parisi that depict horror movies in parallel universes.
Who Said God Isn't Funny? These Church Signs are Hilarious!
Although churches are houses of worship, that doesn't mean to say that they can't have a sense of humor! These amazing signs are evidence of that.
Hilarious: Old Ladies Know How to Ask the Best Questions...
Old ladies have some of the most poignant and relevant questions to ask of any of us. Here are a few of them!
These Libraries Will Surprise You With Their Creativity
These libraries have spiced things up with creative twists from the funny librarians who run them.
Laugh Until You Cry with Mr. Bean's Ridiculous Antics
Enjoy 600 seconds of the most hilarious Mr. Bean moments that will leave you in stitches.
Classic Comedy: A Tennis Player's Breakfast
This sketch is all about how tennis players act on the court - and at breakfast!
The Most Hilarious Way of Learning to Play an Instrument!
Part comedy, part musical lesson, you'll laugh yourself silly with this video.
Parrots Are So Funny: A Hilarious Compilation!
This video compilation is all about funny parrots and how they make you laugh.
HILARIOUS: 15 Times People Failed the Only Job They Had
The most hilarious examples of hilarious work fails.
In Pictures: Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2023!
Enjoy the hilarious winners of the Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023!
These Funny Illustrations Show What Life Is Like With Kids!
Jim Benton is a cartoonist and illustrator who has managed to capture life with young kids perfectly. Take a look at his hilarious drawings.
Babbling Babies & Playful Animals = Laughter Unlimited
This hilariously cute video will save your boring day!
Cheeky, Funny, Unapologetic Children - 20 Pics
Here are 20 funny test answers, all written by children who just couldn't be bothered.
You'll Never Guess How THIS Video Ends...
This hilarious short film won countless awards and endless praise.
Animals Bring So Much Joy Into Our Lives - & Make Us Laugh
There's no doubt that animals bring great joy to many people, not least by making them laugh. Take a look at these 15 funny animals doing their thing.
17 Street Signs That Will Make You Crow With Laughter
We present to you a compilation of some of the most hilarious signs people accidentally stumbled upon on the street
Classic Comedy: A Newly Graduated Dentist...
Laugh your socks off with this classic comedy sketch from the Carol Burnett Show. A hilarious scene from the dentist that will have you in stitches.
Hilarious! Meet the World's Strongest Teenage Girl
If you're looking for something to brighten up your day, then this brilliant prank from the Just For Laughs group is just what you need!
19 Classical Art Memes Guaranteed to Leave You in Splits
People are turning classical art into hilarious memes, and we can’t stop laughing!
HILARIOUS: 14 Silly Signs That'll Make Your Day
Need a laugh? Check out these hilariously weird signs that make no sense.