A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action.
The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?"
The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff.
Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!" The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited.
After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it.
A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving.
The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with the rope tied tightly around it behind. The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!"
The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Joke: Don't Drink and Jump
A man and a woman are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. The man soon makes a startling revelation...
Joke: What To Wear When The IRS Calls You In...
A man has been called in to the IRS to testify, but he's unsure of what to wear for the outcome to be most favorable for him. Read on to find out what happens..
Joke: The Odd Driver
When a cop pulls over a man for speeding, little does he know what he's in for...
Joke: Lights Go Out, Naughty Comes Out...
Four people are in a train compartment together when everything goes dark. An opportunistic poor man decides to capitalize on the opportunity...
Have You Heard This Joke? A Blond Trilogy!
These hilarious and classic blond jokes will make your day.
HILARIOUS: The World’s Absolute Worst Bathroom Designs
Hilarious pictures of bad bathroom designs
How Much Sleep Do We Need at Different Ages?
How much sleep do we need at 15? Is it the same at 35 or 60? No, and that is exactly what we would like to teach you about
Uproarious: Please Don't Sit Next to Me, Mr. Bean!
Mr. Bean is back, and this time he's on a plane trying to cheer up a young boy who is feeling a little sick. The results are of course hilarious!
Want to See Something Funny? This Prank is Hilarious
This prank begins with a window cleaner taking off some clothes...
These Terrific Signs Make Everyone Burst Out Laughing!
In this article, we feature 15 terrific signs that will make just about anyone laugh their heart out.
This is What Happens When Translations Go Wrong...
These examples of translated English didn't quite turn out as intended, with hilarious results!
75 Hilarious Family Jokes Perfect For Kids & Adults!
While some of us might enjoy humor that's a little dark or dirty, these children's jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike!
Cats Vs Dogs: Who's in Charge? Adorable and Hilarious!
When it comes to cats vs dogs, who's the boss? Hilarious!
Some Animals Just Weren't Meant to Be Pets...
These pet owners aren't interested in cats, dogs, fish and birds like you and me. They prefer something a little wilder, and well, stranger...
Only Senior Citizens Can Relate to This Hilarious Advice
If you're over the age of 60, you'll definitely be able to relate to these light-hearted statements.
Hilarious: 16 Absolutely Laugh-Worthy Construction Blunders
These construction fails will make you question everything.
22 Coffee Quotes That'll Add Some Funny to Your Day
Add more spice to your love for coffee with these hilarious coffee quotes.
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.
WATCH: Man Ditches "Pregnant" Wife In Hilarious Prank
A man pretends to ditch his "pregnant" wife for another woman in this hilarious prank. Watch the video to see the hilarious expressions on bystanders' faces.
Hilarious: This New Train Line Is Certainly a Hard Sell
This classic British comedy sketch captures everything that's great about British humor. Watch this poor rep pitch to an utterly clueless transport minister...
Joke: Making This Call About a Wedding is a Tough Decision
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
Hilarious: 22 Witty and Clever Cartoons!
22 of the funniest New Yorker cartoons that are just clever enough to be funny but not mysteriously so.
Funny Stand Up: Can't Argue With Wife Post Surgery!
Jim Gaffigan in a funny stand up video about arguing with his wife after her brain surgery.
Mr. Bean: How Should One NOT Paint?
Our old friend Mr. Bean is the only one who can get into such a situation when all he needs to do is paint...
Hey Dogs, Are You Gonna Take That From a CAT?
A side-splitting video compilation of mischievous felines, monopolizing the dog bed.
Funny! The Photos That Animals Don't Want You to See!
Animals give the world so much joy, as these hilarious images prove.
These Funny Cartoons Are Guaranteed to Make You Smile
Enjoy this humorous collection of single-panel comics by Harry Bliss.
Give Me My Toast - Funny Prank!
In this cute prank, the toaster has decided to be whimsical, and change up the old way of just bringing the toast up....
These Wedding Day Pranks Will Leave You Gasping For Air
Hilarious wedding pranks that are guaranteed to make you laugh.
These Dumb Actions By People Will Leave You Aghast
Some people do things that simply leave you scratching your head - and make you laugh. Take a look at 22 pictures of the dumbest actions you'll ever see.
These Wacky Road Signs Are Worth Stopping For
These bizarre signs will add some humor to your everyday commute.
This Hilarious Sign is Gaining Notoriety Around the World...
The Indian Hills Community Center sign in Colorado, USA, has gained a worldwide following thanks to the hilarious puns it displays. Here are 30 of them.
HILARIOUS! The Heart versus the Brain, Who Beats Whom?
These comics put a cheerful twist on chores, work and responsibilities. You'll recognize yourself in these funny stories about the Heart & the Brain.
The Singing Pug That Cannot Run - Hilarious!
Loca is a very lucky pug living in Ireland. With a loving family and lots of space to run outdoors, it's a great life. But Luca isn't very good at running, due to a non-harmful brain disorder. It's the only way it affects her, and she doesn't seem to
Funny! When Cake Decorators Take Instructions Literally
What would your reaction be if you had to receive one of these hilarious cakes?
Funny Cartoons NEVER Go Out of Style!
Time to laugh out loud with these hilarious comics by Leigh Rubin.
Hilarious: This is Why We Love Kids...
There are a number of reasons we love kids! It isn't just because they laugh out loud most of the time or look great in photos - they also make us laugh...
18 Funny Construction Bloopers That are Too Hard to Ignore
Take a look at some truly absurd and outrageous construction fails that will make you laugh out loud.
It’s Hard to Believe These Hilarious US Laws Still Exist!
Did you know California prohibits riding bikes in swimming pools? Discover more such bizarre US laws in this article.
Only in Canada: 18 Pics That Perfectly Describe the Place!
There really is no other place like Canada, and these pictures prove it.
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
Hilarious: A Most Unusual Sermon!
Rowan Atkinson, the famous comedian, gives a sermon the likes of which you've never heard...
The Wit and Humor of Groucho Marx – Funny Compilation
Sit back and enjoy this hilarious compilation of the funniest Groucho Marx insults and one-liners.
Excuse Me, Interior Designers? May I Ask... WHY?!?
These terrible interior design mistakes are so bad they're actually hilarious.