"You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the very first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.
The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Furthermore, he told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled money from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and given VD to his cousin.
I was appalled, but as the days went on I came to realize that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of understanding and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk...
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish," said the politician.
"In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."
Have You Heard This One? The Secret of Confession
This hilarious joke starts with a confession...
Joke: Hedging Your Bets
A man is on his deathbed and a priest is getting him ready for his long journey into the night. Despite his impending death, the man is still very cautious.
This Joke Starts With a Rabbi, Priest and a Minister
A priest is out on a fishing boat when he needs to go to the bathroom. Immediately, he is joined by a minister, and both appear to walk on water...
This Joke Starts With a Man Looking For Answers About Relations
When a young man wants to know whether having relations on the Sabbath is in violation of religious law, he consults a priest followed by a rabbi...
Have You Heard This Joke: When it Started Raining (Rude)
This man has an unusual confession...
Funny Joke: The Old Lady Has an Important Question...
This joke begins with a repenting old woman at a church...
Hilarious: How to Insult 7 Different Nations!
This kind woman is willing to help her boss with a difficult meeting, but her help isn't all it's cracked up to be...
Some Animals Just Weren't Meant to Be Pets...
These pet owners aren't interested in cats, dogs, fish and birds like you and me. They prefer something a little wilder, and well, stranger...
Short Senior Jokes that'll Make You Crack Up!
Just because you're getting old, it doesn't mean that you have to stop laughing. Here are 25 short senior jokes that'll really tickle your fancy.
These People Practice Professional Insanity. Hilarious.
A hilarious compilation of especially creative gags!
COMEDY COLLECTION: Giggle at Mr. Bean's Funniest Antics
Mr. bean (Sir Rowan Atkinson) is one of comedy’s most memorable characters. Get your funny bone ready for some serious tickling, as we show you 18 of Mr. Bean's funniest skits ever.
These Quirky Winter Quotes Will Help Warm Your Frosty Days
Embrace the cold season with these quirky winter quotes!
These Funny Restaurant Signs Will Have You Guffawing
The iconic Tex-Mex restaurant, El Arroyo is back with some more hilariously clever signs.
Hilarious: Ahhhm... That's NOT What I Ordered...
These are some serious shopping fails. I don't know whether to play the customers or the companies. So let's just laugh at both!
20 Clever Words for Clever People To Laugh Over...
Have you heard of these words? No?? How come?
20 Terrible Translations That'll Make You Laugh!
Check out these 20 outrageously terrible translations that will make you laugh your head off!
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown's Having a VERY Weird Day...
Mrs. Brown will give you a big grin with another hilarious scene.
Ridiculous But Mighty Cute: the Pumpkin Toadlet
Every now and again, nature makes a blip, and we discover quirky or funny species. Guess what this frog can't do.
These Are the Funniest Signs I've Seen in a While...
These hilarious signs required some devious minds behind them...
Hysterical - Wild Animals Being Real Comedians!
Who said all wildlife photos had to be majestic and serious? You have to see these 18 hysterical wildlife moments!
How the Heck Did They End Up Writing THAT?
Here's a fresh dose of hilarious translation fails from different countries and languages!
These Inventors Thought Outside the Box! Hilarious
These creators came up with some pretty hilarious inventions.
These Animal Pick Up Lines Are a Hoot!
When it comes to pick up lines, the animal world provides some of the funniest! This collection of 70 animal pick up lines is gonna make you roar with laughter.
Funny Time: Get Your Giggles Going and Laugh Out Loud
16 Pictures that will make you giggle and guffaw like a hyena!
This is One of the Funniest Videos I've Ever Seen! (Cheeky)
This hilarious short video is just laugh out loud funny.
WATCH: 10 Funny Xmas Editions of 'Simon's Cat' All in One!
These hilarious cartoons from Simon's cat serve to remind us not to forget something really important: It's Christmas for our cats too!
This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
This has to be the funniest hotline message ever recorded.
Keep Your Lips and Hugs to Yourself Human! Hilarious
A lot of dog and cat owners love to kiss their pets. But often the pet doesn't understand this strange custom. This hilarious compilation shows their reactions!
These Architects Should Really Rethink Their Career Choice
Somebody messed up big time. You’ll laugh your head off seeing how wrong construction can go with these hilarious photos.
Hilarious: Grammar is a Funny Subject!
These grammar jokes will have you on the floor they are so ridiculous!
These Hilarious Signs Made Me Crack Right Up!
While not all of the 20 signs we’re about to show you intend to be funny, they definitely are!
This Has Got to be the World's Funniest Orchestra!
This orchestra not only provides you with great music, but great laughs as well.
This Amusing Prank Involves a Frying Pan...
This prank video starts with a pan falling from up high...
Hilarious: Some Photos You Can Only Take in Africa...
A photo series of things you can only see in Africa.
This Simon's Cat Collection is All You Need for Smile Today!
Created by Simon Tofield in 2008, Simon's Cat is on a constant mission to get fed. Enjoy this hilarious collection of 16 of his most famous escapades.
These Funny Photos Show People's Relationship With Food!
There's no doubting that everyone's relationship with food is different, and this leads to people creating hilarious memes related to it! Take a look.
Translations Gone Wrong – 15 Hilarious Examples
These funny signs are proof that bad translations can have hilarious results.
12 Naughty Dogs Caught Being Cheeky While You Were Out
So this is what your dog is doing when he has the house to himself!
I Love Reading These Funny Lines!
There's a grain of truth in every joke. And even as we laugh, the humor helps us remember some truths. Of course, sometimes a funny line... is just a funny line!
These Funny Signs Excel At Stating the Obvious...
Some signs that you come across in life literally leave you scratching your head. Their messages are so obvious that they beggar belief. Take a look.
The Funniest Videos are Shot Right at Home!
These hilarious videos are all winners of the Funniest Home Videos Awards!
You Must See These Hilarious Airport Pick-Up Signs
Some people go a little overboard with their airport greetings.