If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, mainly eats fish and drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so.
Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
• I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.
• It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
• If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
• I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
• Kids in the back-seat cause accidents.
• Accidents in the back-seat cause kids.
• It's not hard to meet expenses - they're everywhere.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter - I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here, after".
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???
The Funny Facts of Life I Learned With Age...
The older you get, the more you realize what a funny thing life is.
Welcome to Laugh Corner - Single Panel Comics
Dial down the stress as we approach our much-deserved weekend with some humor.
Joke: The Newlyweds and the Strict Priest...
These newlyweds were asked to do something difficult...
Joke: When the Evangelicals Are On TV
When grandma and grandpa are watching the evangelical preacher on the TV, they try to heal themselves of their ills by touching it. It doesn't go so well...
Bless My Neighbors... They're Completely Nuts!
Check out these 15 pictures of hilarious things that people have caught their neighbors doing! We challenge you not to laugh your head off!
Funny Gag: Meet the Strongest Girl in the World!
Time for another side-splitting gag from ‘Just For Laughs’.
The Funniest Videos are Shot Right at Home!
These hilarious videos are all winners of the Funniest Home Videos Awards!
These Funny ‘Science Facts’ Will Leave You Confused
It’s not always that science makes us laugh, but these intentionally wrong science facts will give you a good chuckle.
Meanwhile in Australia, Some Weird Things are Happening...
Australia is a fascinating and weird place.
Classic Comedy: The Wacky Adventures of Harold Lloyd
Enjoy this hilarious compilation of funny gags by the master of comedy, Harold Lloyd.
Classic Comedy: My Blackberry Is Broken!
This is one of our favorite comedy sketches of all times!
If You Don't Laugh at These, You Are Irony-Deficient...
The Irony Is Strong in These Photos...
Dogs vs. Their Greatest Enemy: The Bath...
Sorry, my dear canine buddies, you'll still need to take that bath!
Hilarious: Old Ladies Know How to Ask the Best Questions...
Old ladies have some of the most poignant and relevant questions to ask of any of us. Here are a few of them!
You're Never Too Old To Have Fun! These Seniors Prove It
There may be some seniors who'd rather take life slowly. But others, do not want to waste a second having fun.
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown's Having a VERY Weird Day...
Mrs. Brown will give you a big grin with another hilarious scene.
Funny: When 8 Priests Come Face-to-Face with Lingerie
This clip from a classic Irish comedy features 8 desperate priests embarrassingly trapped in the lingerie department. This will bring tears to your eyes.
These 24 Funny Wild Animals Know When to Say Cheese!
Wild animals are magnificent, sure. But they are also breathing souls with a real thirst for fun, play and humor. This ace contest celebrates their funny side.
The Lighter Side of Love: 18 Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
Love is a serious matter, but it’s good to have some humor about it sometimes.
20 Funny Quotes for All the Introverts Out There
Do you identify yourself as an introvert? Then you will relate to these hilarious quotes.
Mark Twain Had a Lot to Say About Almost Everything
Mark Twain is one of the most famous writers in American history. He was known for his dark wit and humor, and his quotes still inspire people today.
Hilarious: 15 Who Parked Terribly and Found Karma
Some people just don't know how to park a care, and some are just incredibly selfish. Here are the worst offenders.
Here's Proof That Wrong Spacing Can Ruin Any Sign...
Sometimes, a tiny mistake like a space in the wrong place can make all the difference, turning an ordinary sign into the most hilarious one you've ever seen!
Hilarious: The Evil Grocery Store!
This is just the kind of pranks I like, and a very creative use of a grocery store!
Hilarious: Have You Seen The New Senior Bumper Stickers?
Here are some bumper stickers specially made for the retired lifestyle!
When Birds Misbehave, the Results Are Utterly Hilarious!
If you think that only dogs and cats are capable of being total jerks, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
These Funny Photos Show Victorian Era in a Different Light!
Most images we see from the early days of photography are austere and often bleak. Yet these photographs show the reality. People were cheeky, funny and happy!
These Doormats Are Just Hilarious (16 Pics)
Amuse your guests with these ridiculously creative door mats.
How Did This Japanese Woman Teach Her Dog to Whisper?
You've probably heard dogs howl, bark, and growl, but have you ever seen a dog do this?
These Animal Pictures Prove Nature Has a Sense of Humor
Every year, the Comedy Wildlife Photography Contest chooses the funniest animal pictures to promote animal conservation...
Hilarious! These Overly Dramatic Cats Deserve an Oscar...
Which of these hilarious cat expressions made you laugh most?
These Wine Jokes Are All in Good Taste...
I never knew there were so many funny things to say about wine...
These Funny Quotes Will Inspire You With a Smile
Let these humorous quotes about life put a smile on your face.
Hilarious! Men Can Handle Anything Impossible!
Hilarious photos illustrating how men are willing to do just about anything!
Classic Comedy: Mr Bean Is the Ultimate Hopeless Romantic
I always considered myself a hopeless romantic, that is until I saw how Mr. Bean's big date went.
The Hilarious Antics of These Birds Will Make You Chuckle
Birds can be mean at times, but hilarious at the same time. Check out some of the funniest bird antics in this post.
16 Parenthood Comics That’ll Make You Roll In the Aisles
These witty comics show the funny side of having a family and parenting
I Can't Stop Laughing at These Hilarious Wedding Photos
From cows making babies to groomsmen falling into the ocean, here are some of the most sidesplitting wedding photobombs you'll ever see.
Working With a Feline - A Cat-astrophy...
Cats are cute, but try working with one of them around...
These Witty Responses to Public Notices are Hilarious
Check out this collection of 15 petty notices along with their extremely hilarious responses!
These 14 Hilarious Vet Signs Are Gonna Crack You Up!
From unapologetic puns about neutering pets to side-splitting two-liners about the differences between cats and dogs, get ready to laugh your head off!
When Cats Attack, Absolutely Nothing is Safe!
These Photos are filled with cats going into attack mode and assaulting everything from their devoted owners to innocent cardboard boxes, blankets, and shoes.
When a Ridiculous Sign is Put Up, Hilarity Ensues!
There are certain signs that you come across that leave you wondering what was going on in the mind of the person that put it up. Here are 16 hilarious signs.
These Comic Strips Are So Funny, You'll Ask for More!
Check out these hilarious one-frame funnies by artist Tyson Cole.