If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, mainly eats fish and drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so.
Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
• I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.
• It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
• If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
• I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
• Kids in the back-seat cause accidents.
• Accidents in the back-seat cause kids.
• It's not hard to meet expenses - they're everywhere.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter - I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here, after".
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???
Tennis Comedy: These Interruptions Stole the Show!
These players thought they would only have to deal with their match, but the circumstances ended up getting real funny!
Welcome to Laugh Corner - Single Panel Comics
Dial down the stress as we approach our much-deserved weekend with some humor.
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Two elderly people are spotted by a travel agent at his agency's window. He promptly invites them in and discusses sending them on a dream vacation...
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A collection of crazy and unexpectedly hilarious jokes.
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
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This fresh batch of hilarious signs is not to be missed!
This Hilarious Video Starts With an Elephant...
This is one of the most clever pranks I've ever seen
The Funny Difference Between Male & Female Brains
If you're a man, or if you're a woman, you will probably find this video compilation utterly hilarious.
25 Pictures that Prove Photographers are Crazy!
Some people are willing to go above and beyond what is needed (or safe) in order to take the perfect photo...
Funny Stand Up: Can't Argue With Wife Post Surgery!
Jim Gaffigan in a funny stand up video about arguing with his wife after her brain surgery.
Hilarious: 15 Witty Bar and Restaurant Signs
These bars and restaurants deserve a visit just for their funny signs.
These Driving Fails Will Have You in Fits
It's a wonder how these folks ever got their driving licenses, such is the ridiculousness of their actions. Here are 25 utterly hilarious driving fails.
Hilarious: The Real Dogs Behind the "Beware Dog" Signs
Here are 12 hilarious “Beware of the Dog” signs and the cuties behind those signs.
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Dubai is a unique country, and offers some sights you'll probably never seen anywhere else in the world...
These Rude 'Chinese' Proverbs Got Me Laughing
Ok, so they may not really be Chinese, but they are certainly funny!
The Most Outrageously Hilarious Signs You’ll See
You know what time it is? It’s time for some funny signs!
These Hilarious Grammar Jokes are a Verbal Delight!
Do you enjoy a good pun? Somehow, they become even funnier when they're related to grammar. Here are 17 hilarious grammar jokes for you to enjoy.
Excuse Me, Interior Designers? May I Ask... WHY?!?
These terrible interior design mistakes are so bad they're actually hilarious.
Comedy Gold: Do Not Mess With Buster Keaton!
Enjoy this rib-tickling sketch by the king of comedy, Buster Keaton.
20 Funny Cat Comics Every Feline Pawrent Will Relate To
Enjoy this cute and humorous collection of comics by Lingvistov that show what it’s like living with a cat.
Hilarious Birthday Bloopers Make the Best Belly Laughs
These hilarious birthday bloopers will have you laughing all day!
These Photos Show That We Live in a Cat's World...
Cats bring us much joy, but they can also be extremely naughty and just spend most of their time doing whatever they like. Here are 15 hilarious photos.
These Hilarious Pictures Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
These photos will have you laughing out loud.
Not the Greatest Boy Scout - Hilarious!
A silly but hilarious prank the whole family will enjoy.
Hilarious: 22 Witty and Clever Cartoons!
22 of the funniest New Yorker cartoons that are just clever enough to be funny but not mysteriously so.
You Wouldn't Believe These Things Happen at Hotels
These hotel fails are the funniest things you will see all day.
Classic Comedy: Getting Rid of Whom?? (Adult Humor)
I can't stop laughing at this hilarious scene...
Hilarious: Old Ladies Know How to Ask the Best Questions...
Old ladies have some of the most poignant and relevant questions to ask of any of us. Here are a few of them!
Hilarious: I Swear This Box Just Grew On Its Own!
These people are either failing their vision or their sanity!
16 Hilarious Panorama Fails That Are So Bad They're Good
Sometimes panoramic photos can turn out to be hilariously bad.
Hilarious: When Signs Think You're an Idiot
A collection of signs, articles, manuals and more that are completely obvious and pointless...
If You Want the Truth, Read This Hilarious Dictionary
If you think dictionaries were dry and pedantic, you'd be right. That is, they were, until these cheeky definitions came along.
Hilarious: Ahhhm... That's NOT What I Ordered...
These are some serious shopping fails. I don't know whether to play the customers or the companies. So let's just laugh at both!
The Empty Car Drive Through Prank!
Some people come up with the silliest pranks, but what do we care, we're the ones who get to laugh out loud at the bewilderment of these drive through workers, as a car driven by a ghost goes to collect its order...
This Man Pushed a Button. He Had No Idea What It Will Do...
This man saw a button at the town square, he didn't realize what would happen when he pushed it.
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean At the Restaurant
Watch and see what happens as Mr. Bean gets a taste of a raw Steak Tartare, and decides he doesn’t really like it…
This Bird Compilation Will Have You Hooting with Laughter
When it comes to entertaining us humans, birds, as you're about to see, are just as good at is as cats and dogs are.
Sweet Irony: Hilarious Photos of Ironic Situations!
Sometimes, the world just gives us some hilarious moments of perfect irony!
Funnies: The Differences Between Men and Women
These images will show you clearly why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Take a look at these amusing images for a good laugh.
Laughter Guaranteed: 15 Uproarious Classical Art Memes
Who would have thought that classical art pieces can make you cackle with laughter?
Hilarious: These Funny Restaurant Signs Cracked People Up
Whenever people drove by these fast food joints, they were stopped in their tracks by their hilarious signs. Take a look.
Hilarious! These Overly Dramatic Cats Deserve an Oscar...
Which of these hilarious cat expressions made you laugh most?
HILARIOUS: 14 Cat Comics That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud!
This hilarious cat comics, drawn by Scott Metzger, perfectly capture the nature of cats.
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.