"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Cheeky Joke: Meeting the Parents
A biker just found himself the perfect Harley with a tube of Vaseline thrown in to protect it from the rain.Things start to go awry at his girlfriend's house...
Joke: To Heaven and Back
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
Joke: A Woman's Clever Answer
This woman just thought of the perfect answer to this cop's accusation.
Receptionist, You Must Come Quickly (Hilarious Joke)
A receptionist is alerted to the presence of a man outside the window of an old lady who's staying at the hotel. She goes to investigate the problem...
This Joke Starts With a Middle-aged Lady Going to Hospital
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
This Joke Starts With a Man On His Deathbed
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife and four children. Three are tall and athletic, but the fourth... isn't. He asks his wife about them...
22 Of the Funniest Language Jokes and Puns
Time for some humor! Enjoy these 22 grammar puns & jokes.
These Truths About Marriage are Bound Crack You Up!
These absolute truths about marriage will really crack you up!
These Doormats Are Just Hilarious (16 Pics)
Amuse your guests with these ridiculously creative door mats.
Translations Gone Wrong – 15 Hilarious Examples
These funny signs are proof that bad translations can have hilarious results.
This Man Pushed a Button. He Had No Idea What It Will Do...
This man saw a button at the town square, he didn't realize what would happen when he pushed it.
The Funny Side of Having Too Much Technology...
It's crazy to think about how most of us have become attached to our cellphones, but there's a funny side to the whole thing. Take a look at these memes.
20 Chucklesome Road Signs Worth Stopping For
Someone in Colorado is putting hilariously punny road signs, and we can’t stop laughing!
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown and Her Naughty Situation (Rude)
We come back to our favorite foul mouthed lady in this hilarious sketch.This will definitely get you laughing!
Hilarious: Ahhhm... That's NOT What I Ordered...
These are some serious shopping fails. I don't know whether to play the customers or the companies. So let's just laugh at both!
20 Hilarious Comics Filled With Wit, Fun, and Humor!
These hilarious comic strips by legendary cartoonist Mark Parisi are guaranteed to make you chuckle.
These Dogs' Funny Faces Made Me Laugh My Socks Off!
It's the simplest things in life that make me laugh. Like these 23 brilliant photos of dogs chasing treats! Priceless.
Hilarious! Mr Bean Wreaks Havoc at the School Open Day
Whether he's in the art gallery, at a calligraphy demonstration, or even in the science lab, nobody is safe when Mr. Bean is around!
14 Crazy Things That Could Only Happen in One Country...
14 photos of things that you could only find in Russia. These will bring a smile to your face.
These Animal Pick Up Lines Are a Hoot!
When it comes to pick up lines, the animal world provides some of the funniest! This collection of 70 animal pick up lines is gonna make you roar with laughter.
These Funny Hospital Photos Are Bound to Crack You Up
These hospital photos are bound to make you scream with laughter!
Hilarious: Some Guys REALLY Think Outside the Box...
Here are some of my favorite examples of male creativity at work.
Need a Smile? These Hilarious Animals Will Bring It Out!
Simply put - there's no funnier comedy than animal comedy!
15 Stupendously Meaningless Road Signs That Really Exist
Signs are meant to be visual aids, reminders that also serve as a guide. If you ever drove by these incredible road signs, would you know what to do? I wouldn't have a clue.
Hilarious: Are These Weirdest Signs Ever Made?
Enjoy this hilarious compilation of weird signs that will have you in stitches!
This Bird Compilation Will Have You Hooting with Laughter
When it comes to entertaining us humans, birds, as you're about to see, are just as good at is as cats and dogs are.
In Need of a Good Laugh? Try These Cartoons!
Need a smile? Try this collection of goofy, silly and hilarious cartoons!
Hilarious: These Hilarious Repairs Will Really Crack You Up!
Here are 14 hilarious repair fails that are bound to give you a good laugh!
Bless My Neighbors... They're Completely Nuts!
Check out these 15 pictures of hilarious things that people have caught their neighbors doing! We challenge you not to laugh your head off!
Try to Wrap Your Head Around These 17 Optical Illusions
Don’t trust your eyes! These mind-bending photos aren’t as bizarre as they seem at first, but they will try to mislead you...
Hilarious: These Funny Restaurant Signs Cracked People Up
Whenever people drove by these fast food joints, they were stopped in their tracks by their hilarious signs. Take a look.
And the Award for the Worst Driver of the Year Goes To…
Car crashes aren’t supposed to be funny. So, why can’t we stop laughing at these ridiculous ones?
This Video is Proof Farm Animals Are Just As Funny As Pets
Who said dogs and cats are the best or even cutest animal comedians? Definitely not these farm animals, each one funnier than the last!
Hilarious These Silly Signs Made Me Laugh!
19 funny signs that were written on purpose to be hilarious and witty.
Hilarious! Men Can Handle Anything Impossible!
Hilarious photos illustrating how men are willing to do just about anything!
Hilarious: This is Why They Call Them "The Golden Years"!
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. Here are 37 funny pictures of seniors who decided to enjoy life to the fullest and not let concepts like “polite” and “decent” stop them!
Funny Cartoons NEVER Go Out of Style!
Time to laugh out loud with these hilarious comics by Leigh Rubin.
Kidding in the Rain: A Collection of Rainy-Day Pranks!
A hilarious collection of pranks by just for laughs focusing on rainy days.
18 Advertising Fails That Are Too Funny To Ignore!
These hilariously bad ads may not convince you to buy the product, but they will surely succeed at cracking you up!
Classic Comedy: About the Importance of Stuff
One of the funniest and smartest comedy routines in history!
17 Witty and Funny One-Panel Comics!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of one-frame comics by New Yorker Magazine cartoonist Harry Bliss.
Hilarious: The Real Dogs Behind the "Beware Dog" Signs
Here are 12 hilarious “Beware of the Dog” signs and the cuties behind those signs.
These 15 Signs Are Beyond Funny!
Are you ready for your daily dose of laughs? We really hope you are, as this collection of 15 hilarious signs is beyond funny!
The Funny Realities of New Year's Resolutions
New Year’s Resolutions can be fun or annoying depending on the way you look at them. These funny comic strips take a dig at the tradition.