"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Why Has It Gone Hard? (Hilarious Joke)
Two boys are playing by a stream when they see a naked woman. One of the boys quickly runs off.
Receptionist, You Must Come Quickly (Hilarious Joke)
A receptionist is alerted to the presence of a man outside the window of an old lady who's staying at the hotel. She goes to investigate the problem...
Joke: To Heaven and Back
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
This Joke Starts With a Woman Joining a Country Club
A woman joins a country-club and sets out to play with the guys at 6.30am. She immediately impresses them with her golfing prowess...
This Joke Starts With a Christian Lady On a Business Trip
A Christian business lady is asked why she always carries her Bible with her. She begins to respond...
Joke: The Resemblance is Uncanny...
When a pastor is mistaken for a country singer while doing his rounds, he's quite taken aback, however he soon gets used to his new-found fame...
These House Design Decisions Are Criminally Bad!
It’s hard to believe these weird houses actually exist!
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
WATCH: Man Ditches "Pregnant" Wife In Hilarious Prank
A man pretends to ditch his "pregnant" wife for another woman in this hilarious prank. Watch the video to see the hilarious expressions on bystanders' faces.
Working With a Feline - A Cat-astrophy...
Cats are cute, but try working with one of them around...
Do You Have the Same Problems With YOUR Kids?
Almost as soon as they learn how to speak, your kids learn to speak back. First it's "no", then it's "I don't wanna" and soon enough they're closing the door to their room and listening to their terrible music. Well, at least you can take comfort in
Hilarious: What Is the TRUE Meaning of Marriage?
This is why all young lovers look forward to marriage....
In Need of a Good Laugh? Try These Cartoons!
Need a smile? Try this collection of goofy, silly and hilarious cartoons!
Are You Old? You'll Know It If...
There is some debate about when you can actually be considered old. Let's make it real simple. If you find these funny, you are probably old...
When Mrs. Brown Was Just a Naive Little Lady...(Very Rude)
Mrs. Brown does her best to cheer up an anxious expectant mother with tales from her first pregnancy.
When Kid Photos Don't Come Out the Way You Hoped...
Click to see the outcome of kids who did not want to have their photos taken.
Some Languages Are Humorous, But English Is Hilarious!
If you're a sucker for a good, honest, rib-tickling pun, we've got more than 20 of them here for you to giggle away at!
These Child Letters to God are Both Touching and Hilarious
The letters these kids write are astounding.
Classic Comedy: Mr Bean Is the Ultimate Hopeless Romantic
I always considered myself a hopeless romantic, that is until I saw how Mr. Bean's big date went.
These Cat Models Are Simply Hilarious!
These cats have chosen a modelling as their full-time careers...
This Gag Compilation is Literally Out of This World...
This video is so much fun, you're gonna have a blast!
Hilarious: This Vet Clinic Has Painfully Funny Signs!
Enjoy 21 hilarious signs brought to you by the most unexpected source - a vet clinic.
These Hilarious Signs Were Totally Unnecessary
Here are 12 photos that really capture the silly side of humanity!
Hilarious - The World’s MOST Useless Inventions!
These inventions solve problems that don't exist!
When Birds Misbehave, the Results Are Utterly Hilarious!
If you think that only dogs and cats are capable of being total jerks, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
Hilarious: The Wackiest Car Designs I've Ever Seen...
These car owners sure know how to make their vehicles stand out on the streets.
19 Classical Art Memes Guaranteed to Leave You in Splits
People are turning classical art into hilarious memes, and we can’t stop laughing!
If You Have a Well Aged Sense of Humor, You'll Love This!
We've collected for you a series of the most funny senior cartoon pictures. I'm still laughing at these 'well aged' cartoons!
These Dogs Clearly Overestimated Their Physical Abilities...
Watch the hilarious video collection of dogs who fail at being dogs.
Classic Comedy: About the Importance of Stuff
One of the funniest and smartest comedy routines in history!
I Love Reading These Funny Lines!
There's a grain of truth in every joke. And even as we laugh, the humor helps us remember some truths. Of course, sometimes a funny line... is just a funny line!
Mrs Brown Does a Hilarious Strip Tease - for the Vicar!
After being hypnotized the night before, Mrs Brown is unaware that she is still under the spell. The vicar is coming round for tea. What could go wrong?
Only in Canada: 18 Pics That Perfectly Describe the Place!
There really is no other place like Canada, and these pictures prove it.
Australia, the Unpredictable - 21 Sidesplitting Photos!
As these hilarious pictures prove, there's an equal number of pleasant surprises are terrifying encounters in Australia. You just never know what to expect...
Uproarious: Please Don't Sit Next to Me, Mr. Bean!
Mr. Bean is back, and this time he's on a plane trying to cheer up a young boy who is feeling a little sick. The results are of course hilarious!
You'll Never Guess How THIS Video Ends...
This hilarious short film won countless awards and endless praise.
These Vintage Family Christmas Cards Are So Bizarre!
Please don’t laugh at these weird family Christmas cards from the 1950s and 1960s.
Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
Vandalism is WRONG. Unless it makes you laugh out loud. Then it’s okay.
These Funny Restaurant Signs Will Have You Guffawing
The iconic Tex-Mex restaurant, El Arroyo is back with some more hilariously clever signs.
Hilarious: These Hilarious Repairs Will Really Crack You Up!
Here are 14 hilarious repair fails that are bound to give you a good laugh!
Cats vs. Printers - The Great Rivalry!
Printers may not know this, but cats have a real problem with them. It may be the odd noises, or the audacity they have of pushing pages out without getting the cat's consent prior to the fact, but whatever it is, cats don't like them, and will fight
In the Mood for a Good Laugh? Take a Look at These Photos
From a deer being interviewed to a waterproof laptop, this list has got it all!
20 Savage "Burns" That Will Live on Forever...
Can you think of anything better in this world than a fantastic inspired insult? Here are 20 of our favorite crushing zingers.