A fleeing criminal, desperate to escape the police, runs into the desert with hardly any water. Very soon, he runs out of drinking water, and hours later, he is already plodding under the merciless desert sun. He is close to desperation when suddenly sees something far off in the distance. Hoping against hope that it is water, he starts running towards what he thinks is an oasis, only to find a little old man with a little stand, full of ties.
'Hey you, do you have water?' Pants the criminal.
The old man replied, 'I have already finished my water, but would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.'
The criminal, frustrated shouted, 'you moron! Do I look like I need a tie? I should kill you right here, but I have to find some water first!"
'There's no call for threats,' said the old tie seller indignantly, 'but even though you don't want to buy one of my ties and you treat me like this, I'll help you. If you continue over that hill for about 3 miles, you'll find a restaurant with great food and all the ice cold water you can drink. Good luck!"
Muttering in disgust, the criminal staggered away over the hill. Several hours later the other man sees him crawling on the dune back towards him. When he finally arrives, he lays on his back, panting.
"Everything ok?" Asked the tie salesman as he bends over to hear the raspy whisper of the other man.
"They won't let me in without a tie..."
|
Image courtesy of: Stockimages / freedigitalphotos.net
Joke: The Old Man's Secret
A TV crew decides to visit a hundred years old man living alone in a cabin in the woods
This Joke Begins With a Very Happy Ferrari Owner...
This old man's moped is surprisingly fast in this hilarious joke!
Funny Joke: One, Two Three and You're Ready to Go!
This joke begins with an old man going to see a witch doctor
Funny: I'm Gonna Ask This Hooker How Many Knots I'm Doing
A retired sailor picks up a prostitute at the docks. They take off to do their business. He asks her how he's doing...
This Joke Starts With An Old Man Ordering a Hamburger
An old man goes to order a hamburger, but only orders one (he's with his wife). A good Samaritan soon decides to offer to buy them another burger...
This Joke Starts With a Worried Man at His Annual Physical
An old man who's having memory problems visits his doctor for his annual physical. The doctor quickly comes up with a solution for his forgetfulness...
You Must See These Hilarious Airport Pick-Up Signs
Some people go a little overboard with their airport greetings.
These Cat Tweets Will Give You Plenty to Laugh About!
Cats have been providing us with entertainment for as long as we have co-existed, and these cat tweets prove they’re still giving us plenty to laugh about!
Hilarious! Some Animals Cannot Pose Well in Photos
Here are some majestic and graceful animals, captured in less than fluttering moments.
The Hilarious Antics of These Birds Will Make You Chuckle
Birds can be mean at times, but hilarious at the same time. Check out some of the funniest bird antics in this post.
When This Young Comedian Steps on Stage, No One is Safe!
Ned Woodman, a 9-year-old comedian, may look cute, but when he steps on to the stage, all this changes. Check him out here!
Not the Greatest Boy Scout - Hilarious!
A silly but hilarious prank the whole family will enjoy.
You're Busted! Hilarious 'Crime' Gags
This compilation is so funny it should be illegal! ).
Hilarious: Quick, Mrs. Brown, Answer the Phone! (Rude)
Mrs Brown's boys sure didn't think she would enjoy her new smart phone this much!
These Photos Prove Dogs Are The FUNNIEST Pets In Existence
Whether they're caught trying to steal a snack or desperately resisting bath time, dogs never fail to put a smile on our faces. Check out these funny dog moments!
Ridiculous But Mighty Cute: the Pumpkin Toadlet
Every now and again, nature makes a blip, and we discover quirky or funny species. Guess what this frog can't do.
This Simon's Cat Collection is All You Need for Smile Today!
Created by Simon Tofield in 2008, Simon's Cat is on a constant mission to get fed. Enjoy this hilarious collection of 16 of his most famous escapades.
Hilarious: These Christmas Cartoons Made Me Laugh Out Lo
This is the best time of the year to laugh all together as a family with these Christmas funnies.
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
Laughter Guaranteed: 15 Uproarious Classical Art Memes
Who would have thought that classical art pieces can make you cackle with laughter?
These Funny Signs Excel At Stating the Obvious...
Some signs that you come across in life literally leave you scratching your head. Their messages are so obvious that they beggar belief. Take a look.
These “Police Officers” Have a Great Sense of Humor
Police officers can have a great sense of humor too, as you will find out in this hilarious compilation.
These House Design Decisions Are Criminally Bad!
It’s hard to believe these weird houses actually exist!
How Did This Japanese Woman Teach Her Dog to Whisper?
You've probably heard dogs howl, bark, and growl, but have you ever seen a dog do this?
Winter Can Be CRAZY Sometimes - 16 Bizarre Pics
These chilly pictures show just how crazy and harsh winter can be.
These Doormats Are Just Hilarious (16 Pics)
Amuse your guests with these ridiculously creative door mats.
Some Things Could Only Have Been Invented in Japan
You can always rely on the Japanese to come up with some quirky inventions...
The Funny Side of Having Too Much Technology...
It's crazy to think about how most of us have become attached to our cellphones, but there's a funny side to the whole thing. Take a look at these memes.
These Chatty Parrots Will Crack You Up!
Talking parrots provide their owners with many hilarious moments, especially when they are in a chatty mood...
Some Languages Are Humorous, But English Is Hilarious!
If you're a sucker for a good, honest, rib-tickling pun, we've got more than 20 of them here for you to giggle away at!
These Dry-humored Comic Strips Are Utterly Brilliant
If you've never seen Pie Comic by John McNamee before, then you need to take a look at this post. His comic strips are hilarious!
Crazy! What on Earth Were These Men Thinking?
If you were wondering why women tend to live a bit longer than men, then perhaps this collection of photos will make you understand a little better.
20 Hilarious Supermarket Mistakes You've Got to See!
I used to think shopping was boring, until I started noticing these hilarious mistakes all over the place. Here are 20 of the funniest fails I've seen.
Hilarious: I Swear This Box Just Grew On Its Own!
These people are either failing their vision or their sanity!
Hilarious: The Marriage Dictionary!
Have you been through the marriage dictionary yet? I think you'll find that the definitions it contains are much different to the ones in a regular dictionary.
When Teaching First Aid, Try to Avoid Having Mr. Bean There
A classic Mr. Bean sketch that always makes me laugh, is Mr. Bean's idea of first aid...
It's Impossible Not to Laugh At These Funny Signs!
Who doesn't love a funny sign? This collection will leave you grinning from ear to ear.
Classic Comedy: The Miracle of Birth!
This sketch puts a very funny light on the process of hospital birth. Thank goodness it isn't like this in real life... or is it?
These Grammar Jokes Are a Silly & Funny Play On Words!
If you're one to titter at a good grammar joke, then you'll absolutely love the 14 that you can find in this post.
HILARIOUS: The World’s Absolute Worst Bathroom Designs
Hilarious pictures of bad bathroom designs
17 Hilarious Animal Memes That Will Have You Guffawing
Start your day with these ridiculously hilarious animal memes.
Hilarious! 16 Photos of Cops Having a Good Time...
These 16 photos prove that police officers can have a cracking sense of humor!
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
These Mistranslations are Too Funny Not to Share
Enjoy this hilarious collection of ridiculousy bad translation fails.