Despite it not being its literal meaning, when you use the word ‘just’ in a sentence people usually transform it in their minds to ‘merely’ as an adverb. This filler word can soften what you’re trying to say, but not necessarily in a good way. Rather, it tends to make you sound less confident.
For example, when you say ‘I was just wondering’, other people hear it as ‘I was merely wondering’ and that comes across as "diminished, disingenuous and defensive” according to language experts. It can make you seem like you have less expertise in what you’re discussing, which is not an impression you’d want to make.
Related: These 8 Mistakes Are the Biggest Conversation Killers
Everyone knows that when ‘but’ comes up in a conversation, it might be bad news. After all, it typically has the power to negate everything that has been said before it. "It can also be perceived as a way to diminish or undercut the object of the sentence or the person being spoken to," explains management consultant, executive coach, and facilitator Liz Kislik.
So how can you give constructive critique or feedback without the word ‘but’? Kislik suggests two replacements: ‘and’ or ‘now’. The word ‘and’ makes it feel as though you’re adding to what you said rather than contradicting it, while ‘now’, when used after a pause, gives the sense of ‘next’ moving on in the conversation.
Cutting out the ‘buts’ and using these alternatives will help your conversation partners feel more open to hearing what you have to say, and feel like you’re leading to something positive rather than undercutting what you said before.
Words have power, even those we say to ourselves. The word ‘should’ allows us to be actively critical of ourselves. ‘I should or shouldn’t be doing this and that…’ suggest that we don’t accept ourselves or where we are in life, explains clinical psychologist Sophie Mort.
Even this small form of rejection can lead to stress and anxiety, which does the opposite of helping us. “It can shut down our brain's ability to problem solve and to maintain attention to a new task," said Mort. At the end of the day, anxiety over what we ‘should’ be doing can be the very thing that prevents us from doing that, creating a cycle of stress.
7 Warning Signs of Low Self Esteem and Lack of Confidence
No one wants to come off as insecure or having low self-esteem. These are 7 signs that can point to low self-esteem in yourself or others.
5 Practical and Easy Ways to Express Gratitude
Experts note that expressing gratitude can boost your mental well-being and enhance self-esteem. Here are 5 easy ways to practice gratitude when times are hard.
How to Stick to Your Goals: A Simple Science-Backed Trick
If you wish to make New Year's resolution for 2021, there is one simple tweak that is psychologically proven to help you stick to them.
Why Brushing Teeth BEFORE Your Morning Coffee Is Essential
The order in which you drink your morning coffee matters because it could be harming your teeth...
Get Rid of These Body Language Habits Today!
Body language is intuitive, so it can easily convey a wrong message or reveal insecurities. Here are 9 simple tweaks that help you avoid these misunderstandings.
6 Common Mistakes That Can Ruin Your Barbecue
A few common mistakes to avoid if you want to get that perfect flavorful home barbecue.
15 Microwave Tips Everyone Should Be Told About
Microwaves can be used even more than you'd imagine. Here are 15 more ways in which you can use your microwave that you probably didn’t know about.
If You’re Taking Apple Cider Vinegar, You Must Know This
There is a right and wrong way to take apple cider vinegar, and doing so incorrectly may not just be ineffective, it could be harmful to your health.
An Easy Guide to Preventing and Treating Wrinkles
A simple guide to understanding, preventing and treating wrinkles, plus 2 recipes for anti-aging face masks. Take a look!
Catch an Attacker Off-Guard with These Self Defense Moves
Learn a few simple moves and catch your attacker off guard with this simple guide.
8 Best Ways to Handle Those Who Constantly Pull You Down
Here are some tips on how to get around people who constantly put you down.
Do You Know Why Wedding Rings Are Worn On the 4th Finger?
There's a specific reason why we all wear our wedding rings on our fourth fingers, and this informative video will explain the tradition behind it.
How Waking Up at 5.30am Will Change Your Life!
Find out how waking up at 5.30am will have a positive impact on your life.
Knowing These 12 Warning Signs Could Save Your Pet's Life!
If your pets exhibit any of these 12 symptoms, you should take them to the vet immediately!
Maintain Your Credibility By Avoiding the Following Words
There are certain words that many of us tend to use habitually. Unfortunately we use them to our detriment, as they harm our credibility. Find out more.
How to Spot a Liar with These 8 Tell-Tale Signs
It's actually really easy to tell if someone is lying to you. Follow this simple 8 part guide and you'll know who's telling porkies.
5 Home Remedies to Banish Mosquitoes From Your Life
Yo won't need to spend another cent on mosquito repellents once you have become acquainted with these natural ones!
Get Rid of These Body Language Habits Today!
Body language is intuitive, so it can easily convey a wrong message or reveal insecurities. Here are 9 simple tweaks that help you avoid these misunderstandings.
24 Fascinating Food Facts Everyone Should Know
These 24 food facts will boggle your mind and may even change your perspective on what you eat.
LIFE HACKS: 30 Practical Uses for Olive Oil!
3o things you can use olive oil for other than cooking with it.
10 Things You Should Consider Doing Every Morning!
There are so many better ways to start your day than by following the usual routine. You can also get a little crazy and try these 10 unique strategies.
Stop Wasting Avocados By Learning This Simple Trick
This excellent video will show you the simple way of freezing the quick-decaying avocados so you can enjoy them later.
16 Extraordinary Table Salt Uses That No One Knows About
Salt is one of nature's most vital things, but did you know how useful it really can be? Here are 16 benefits of using salt around the house.
DIY Secrets: Make Your Own, Home-Made Ziploc Bags!
This video will teach you how to make your own home-made Ziploc bags.
Get Rid of Excessive Ear Wax with These Easy Home Remedies
Earwax is important for protecting our ear canals, however if our body produces too much of it, it can become a problem. Here are some home remedies.
These Winter Skincare Solutions Are Utterly Genius
The winter can take its toll on your skin, but that doesn't mean that you can't rectify problems quickly and easily. Find out about these 10 genius solutions.
17 Bad Housekeeping Habits You’re Likely Unaware Of
These 17 housekeeping habits are some of the most undesirable out there.
We Bet You're Not Aware of These Real-World Facts
Don't miss this random collection of interesting real-world facts from the world over that you are unlikely to have heard before
9 Smart Ways to Store Your Clothes Without a Closet!
Don’t have a closet? No problem. Store your clothes using these handy tips.
These Common Habits Make Our Anxiety Worse
Experts believe that certain attitudes and habits are amplifying your stress levels.
9 Ways of Telling Branded Perfume From a Fake
Do you know how to tell a branded perfume from a fake? Well, you're going to be able to after you read these 9 handy tips.
12 Great Advantages of Being Bald
You thought hair loss and going bald was a BAD thing? Well, think again, as we go over everything that's great about being bald!
7 Great Apple Cider Vinegar Uses for Your Dog!
Not many people are aware that you can use apple cider vinegar for their dog. Here's how!
Here's All You Need to Know about Travel Medical Insurance
Planning a trip abroad? This guide will teach you everything you need to know about travel medical insurance!
10 Repelling Plants that Keep Bugs Away
Many of the solutions to our problems can be found in nature, and this is also true when it comes to insects. Here are 10 plants that'll repel bugs.
15 Signs of Infidelity That Are Too Easy To Miss
Unsure of whether your partner is having an affair? These 15 tips will give you a clear indication.
Got a Scratch on Your Car? We Are Here to Help…
Got a scratch on your car? Here’s how you can repair it at home…
With Age Comes Wisdom! Great Advice From People Over 50
Why get advice from a book when you can get great advice from a person over 50?
If Only I Had Discovered these Cleaning Tips Sooner
10 not-so-obvious tips about cleaning that are both surprising, yet very effective.
WARNING! This Common Ingredient Could Be Fatal to Cats!
They say that curiosity killed the cat, but new studies now show that certain essential oils may kill your cats too if you're not careful. Learn why here...
20 Incredibly Useful Matchbox Tips from a Century Ago
Did you know that matchboxes used to contain a bit of handy advice? Here are 20 tips from our ancestors.
How to Prepare Matcha, the Healthiest Drink on the Market!
Matcha green tea is one of the healthiest drinks out there and this is how you can make it yourself.
Say Goodbye to Your Weeds with These Natural Weed Killers
Trying to find a way to kill your garden weeds without killing your plants? These 8 all-natural weed-killing tips are just what you're looking for!
20 Foods That Should Be Kept Out of the Refrigerator
The refrigerator allows us to keep food fresh for longer, but there are certain foods, such as the 20 here, which are not meant for the cold...
Learn to Solve 7 Common Appliance Problems All By Yourself
The washing machine, the fridge, the dishwasher - these are the home appliances that make our lives that much easier. Here are 7 common problems we have with our home appliances that we can easily fix ourselves.
These False Money-Saving Tips Will Make You Spend More
There are a lot of very common money management tips that are simply not true. These are 8 myths on saving that should be debunked.
7 Japanese Secrets to Staying Slim and Healthy!
The Japanese have their own ways of maintaining their weight.